Hagia Sophia

 The Tired Warrior

Chapter 5

 

Yahya Hodja presided over the ceremony. Neriman’s witness was Maksood and Jamil’s was Lieutenant Farouk.

When the guests congratulated the newlyweds and left; Neriman and Jamil gave a good night kiss to Salime and Enver who was pretending to sleep on the couch. They then went to their room upstairs.

Jamil’s bedroom had received a makeover. There were new curtains, and new throws for the daybed, and the twin bed was replaced with a large bed. Nazmi’s picture on the wall had been removed and in its place, there was a picture of the Reshadiye warship that had been ordered from England and couldn’t be delivered because of the war.

Jamil locked the door and put his Fes on the bed. He approached Neriman who was standing in the middle of the room embarrassed. He held her hands. “Are you tired?”

“Yes, and I am thinking of Enver. He is sad. He tries hard not to show his sadness.”

“He will get used to the idea quickly. Let’s sleep now. I am turning the light off.”

“No, wait!”

“No,” Jamil smiled. “That’s right I should have given you a wedding present first. If you hadn’t spoken then I would have given you another present just to make you speak.” Jamil teased her.

 “Mother made me promise that nothing will happen until you pray first.”

“That’s right, as if ...”

“No, you have to, please, otherwise it is bad luck. Then she became embarrassed again and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I am being so foolish.”

“Napoleon said that the foolish woman is better than the smart woman.” He kissed her neck. “Come on.”

“No, you have to pray first.”

“I’ll pray tomorrow morning.” He pulled her towards the bed. “Come on.”

Neriman pulled away and went to put the prayer rug on the floor. She said strongly, “I am waiting.”

Jamil responded, “Why is it that the woman doesn’t have to pray on the wedding night?”

“I asked about that. It is because women are too nervous that night”

“That’s true. Come on now.” He pulled Neriman towards the bed like he did before and let her fall on her back. Stay still. I will pray in the morning, I promise.”

“Wait a minute; be careful that you don’t rip the dress. Turn off the lamp. I am shy”

Neriman took off her clothes but she heard approaching footsteps and became scared. “Oh! It must be Enver...” They heard somebody standing in front of the door. It was Salime Hanim. “Neriman?”

“Yes, mother.”

Neriman tried to cover up herself, Jamil approached the door and said, “Is there something to the matter?”

“We are in trouble. I told Enver not to tell anyone that you are here.”

“What happened?”

Enver told the Grocer Haji that you are here!”

“When?”

“When you came, he went to the shop to buy some cigarettes for us.”

“That’s all right.”

“No, it isn’t. That guy put his hat on and rushed out of the shop immediately. I was just reminding Enver that he shouldn’t mention that you came home and he told me that he had already mentioned this to Haji. What are we going to do?”

Neriman wrapped a sheet around herself and came to the door. She was shaking as if she was naked in the snow. Jamil tried to suppress his anger and calm the women. “It is not that big of a deal. Don’t worry. Probably he had just gone to the mosque for night prayers. He won’t go to call the Police on us in the middle of the night.”

“Don’t say that! I know how heartless he is. Where is Neriman?”

“I am here mother.” Neriman‘s teeth chattered. “If they raid the house, Jamil will fight. It’s over!” She was grabbing Jamil’s arm and shaking. “They will kill Jamil!”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“They will imprison him! They will exile him to Devil’s Island!” When she heard the neighborhood watchman’s stick hitting the stones, she stopped talking. She raised her head and listened. Her eyes grew large with fear. “They are coming. We are doomed!”

Salime whispered. “I don’t know.”

Neriman pleaded, “What are we going to do? They might search neighbours’ houses. They may circle the whole neighborhood.”

“Go to Yahya’s house then.”

Jamil hugged Neriman and kissed her. He whispered, “Get dressed quickly” He grabbed his Fez, and touched his gun. “Get dressed, don’t panic!”

They knew that Salime’s fear was growing when they heard her voice.

“Now, tell me what are we going to do? You are both as quiet as the dead.” At that moment Enver called, “Grandmother”.  With that, Salime’s fear grew tenfold. “Quiet! Be quiet, Enver. What did I tell you? I told you not to tell anyone and you promised...”

Neriman started to cry.

Without thinking Jamil went to the cupboard and got his second charger and put it in his pocket. “Don’t be afraid. Stay calm. If he didn’t call the cops...I think he didn’t...He wouldn’t just go there without any proof. It’s just a kid who said that. He doesn’t know anything for sure. He won’t take any risks. He will be scared. He wouldn’t want to be responsible for a false alarm. Listen! I said listen. Don’t cry...”

Salime was still standing on the other side of the door whimpering, “What are we going to do?” Jamil became short-tempered and said, “Are you all mad? Stop this.  It is not the end of the world.” Enver started crying downstairs. Salime went to talk to him.

Jamil was relieved that Salime left. He took Neriman to the daybed. “Please, don’t worry. They won’t kill me. You are crying for no good reason. Listen. I will go to hideout at the Bulgarian Cheesery. We will know in an hour if he in fact called the police or not. If they come to the door, don’t panic. Ask for the Mukhtar and tell them that if the Mukhtar is not present you won’t let them search the house. If they ask for me, tell them that you don’t know where I am and you think I am in Germany. Then come to this room and light the kerosene lamp immediately. Pull the curtains open and I will understand that they are at the house.” He checked the time. “If nobody comes within an hour that means there is no danger. We should wait until the morning, and then we will leave together in the early hours.”

“Where can we go? No, I can’t leave. I have to stay with Enver.”

“We will leave only for a couple of days.”

“We can’t leave them alone. Mother can’t be responsible for Enver on her own. I can’t come.”

“All right. We will think about this. Listen, don’t get scared, OK?” He kissed her cheek. “You are exhausted. All because of me....”

Neriman smiled bitterly. She felt even more vulnerable because she was naked.

Jamil felt sorry for her. He looked at her. He wanted to kiss her shoulder but hesitated.

Salime was talking in her room to someone. Jamil picked up the raincoat that he borrowed from Halil Pasha. He heard Enver talking to his Grandma. Jamil was bitter, he was angry. He felt like hurting him. Then he was embarrassed at the thought and left the house quickly. He closed the door quietly. He rested his back on the door and listened to any noises in the street.

It was overcast. It was very dark. It was eerily silent. He thought about going to the wharf and getting a boat to cross the other side to Munir’s place. He didn’t want to leave his new bride on their wedding night just because of Salime’s worries. He was going downhill, carefully walking in the shadows. Then he stopped and looked back. There was no light coming from the wooden houses of the neighborhood. The only light was coming from Salime’s room.

He missed Neriman’s young naked body. That thought made him dizzy. He closed his eyes and stopped at the orchards at the bottom of the hill. He realized that it was not easy to knock on the Bulgarian Cheesery door. He was worried that all the dogs would start to bark suddenly. The noise would alert the security guards and the police officers as well as the likes of Haji. He went to Topagaci Street and sat by the fountain. He searched his pockets for cigarettes but realized that he had forgotten them at home. He was surprised at this. He never went anywhere without his tobacco and lighter since Macedonia. Even in the most dangerous situations he always had his cigarettes with him. He laughed and thought that his wedding night must be tougher than all the wars! He remembered the war stories. He wondered about how much money he had in his pocket. He remembered to take some money with him before leaving the house but couldn’t ask Neriman to get it when she was very confused already. He thought he must have two gold coins, seven paper Liras and some change. He was worried for a minute. Then he thought there was no need for more money that night. He had all these thoughts and more importantly, he was craving tobacco. He felt even more depressed without his cigarettes.

Suddenly he saw light on in one of the houses at the top of the hill. That was Neriman signaling him. Their home was raided. He didn’t exhale and waited for any noises that he might hear from the house. He was looking straight ahead. He was waiting for the cries of women and children. He was imagining scenes of violence, the children’s heads under the boots, naked women, invasion of privacy, and the clothes that were spread all over the house. He was seeing those images like on a movie screen. His anger was growing like the waves hitting an old ship. He was feeling the pressure building up in his veins. He got mad at the thought of someone taking away the sheets that Neriman wrapped around herself. As if someone was doing this to hurt his pride. He was just about to dash.

He was looking for the raincoat that he had dropped and at the same time thinking about what he could do with only two cartridges. He realized suddenly that a couple of months ago he was with the woman he loved in the safety of his house, comfortably looking through the binoculars, and now he is in the same situation as Rashid; cornered. He wondered how many people were raiding the house. “Five ten, maybe twenty.” He thought if Maksood, Nazmi, and Patriot were here or a sergeant and four privates that he knew from the fronts, they could have approached silently and ambushed them. They would have killed them all.

He remembered their successes at those kinds of ambushes and the pride and joy they felt afterward in Macedonia. He wondered, “Why have people never thought about being ambushed. We were young, in our twenties. That’s why we were optimistic about everything.” He passed his hand through his face “If Nazmi was in my shoes he would have never left Neriman there, all by herself. He would go and fight with the enemy single-handedly and take her by the wrist and pull her out of there.”

Nazmi died young. Therefore, he had that immortality. That was a powerful thing. He thought about the meaning of immortality. He knew Nazmi quite well. He realized that he was still squatting; when he wanted to pick up the raincoat he squatted and he remained in that position. He wondered how long he stayed like that and thought that this immobility could be a result of the constant fatigue that he was feeling. He wondered what he would do in case he heard cries for help coming from the house. Would he go there? Yelling and firing gunshots? He thought that would be stupid. He was holding his breath and listening, every passing minute was hurting his pride as a man.

After a long wait, he heard the voices. He didn’t move. It didn’t make him sadder. He felt like he was in a dream. They had come silently but left with so much noise. His chest was tight he was feeling a heavy weight on his chest and that didn’t go away when the intruders left. He thought about going back home but he didn’t have the heart to face Neriman. He was feeling guilty about leaving her alone in the face of the enemy. Jamil decided to go back to Dr. Munir’s home.

He climbed the hill fast. He felt the same despair that Rashid must have felt when he realized that he was recognized. When Neriman was watching Rashid’s despair she had said; ‘Rashid must have wanted to run as fast as he could to a faraway place.’ When he climbed the top of the hill, he felt completely weak and heartbroken. He was lonely and his pride was hurt.

He turned to the corner of the mansion and started to walk on the wide street. His feeling of loneliness was increasing every minute. He wiped his sweaty hands on his raincoat, stopped, and looked for the cigarettes again; swearing through his teeth. He knew for sure that if only he had a cigarette he would have felt better. Then he could have thought straight and figured out where he was going and why he was going. The Greek shopkeeper was looking for change in the cash register. Jamil didn’t think of opening the packet to smoke. As he was leaving the shop he realized that he didn’t have matches. He asked for some. Then he lit the match angrily. He smiled at the shopkeeper, showing his teeth in an unfriendly, angry way.

His first cigarette was like a strong drink, it made him dizzy.

When he saw The War Academy, he noticed that he was walking in measured steps and he was whistling the Harbiye March, with his hands in his pockets.

He went to the bridge and checked the boat schedules without worrying about getting caught. He took the trolley to Beshiktash, where he rented a small boat to cross to the Asian side.

It was almost ten o’clock. He got on a carriage, and said to the coachman; “To Erenkoy.” At that moment all he wanted was to go to the old mansion and lie down on his bed. His whole body and soul were tired.

The Police Chief, Mustafa, was the older brother of the guy he had beaten that night. If Mustafa had been disrespectful to Neriman he was going to kill him. He didn’t know when he decided that. But he knew for sure he was going to kill him; even if he ran to the end of the world; even if a hundred years had passed. He was going to kill him. That was that!

Past Selamichesme neighbourhood there were no street lights.  No flickering lights were shining on the coachman’s hunched back. The horses were trotting, the night was humid, and there was the wet leather smell from the carriage and the sound of the bells. He thought, “I will tell them that our house was raided and Munir will say, “Damn it Jehennem, you didn’t do well!” Pasha wouldn’t care. Patriot will be mad but he won’t show his anger. We will tell Neriman to come to the old mansion tomorrow with Enver. Yahya will help us. We will take Patriot with us and go to Salihli, to Kuschu- Bashi Ranch.”

He lit another cigarette. I will tell them that I was ambushed. The Doctor will say ‘Those Bastards!’ Pasha will be sad thinking how high we reached and how low we sank. He will be depressed and he too will try to hide his feelings. Patriot will laugh, and then he will say, ‘Don’t worry brother, we will get it straight,’ and he will poke me in the stomach with his elbow.

“Sir, where in Erenkoy do you want to go?”

“I will get off at Saskin Bakkal!”

The horses were still trotting along. The carriage was shaking. The bells on the necks of the horses were ringing and disappearing into the night like raindrops falling on the stones.

He got off at Saskin Bakkal and waited a while until the carriage went away; then started marching to Caddebostan. He wasn’t tired at all. A dog was barking and a rooster crowing. He smiled. ‘The village is near’ When he came to the corner of Ethem Effendi Street, he saw two shadows by the road that he was going to take, the road that was going to the wharf. He immediately threw his cigarette down, stepped on it to extinguish it, and backed into the bush. His warrior impulse kicked in.

There was no wind. The dog barking stopped. It was silent. He was trying to figure out what those two shadows were. Were they ox carriages fully loaded, or what? What did they load on the carriages? Then he heard some foreign words and wondered. Have they been ambushed?  He touched his gun and pulled his raincoat together to get ready to run. ‘Good for you Jamil, you came just in time’. He took his gun out of its case and cocked it, then put it back in his pocket. He moved to the shadow of the other tree quietly. His head and his nerves were back to the Warrior mode. He was his usual skilled warrior self. ‘If there is a fight I should wait until the correct moment to attack from behind and they will break the circle and get through.’ He held his breath and listened. ‘Did they have enough time to hide? Did they go to the neighbor’s yard from the backyard as Gulnihal was talking to the men at the front door?’ The plan was if they had ambushed and were able to run away they were going to go to Shukru’s house at Kazasker.

The silence was agonizing. He thought about going back to Ethem Efendi Street and through the back road entering the Mosque yard. From there he could go to the seashore and try to approach the mansion. As he was planning, the dog barking and rooster crowing started again. He decided to take advantage of the noise and start walking. Then he saw flashlights turned on and off around the shadows. Following that, there was a commotion on the street in front of the mansion.

Those shadows turned out to be military trucks and they turned on their powerful headlights. The corner of the street was illuminated as if it was daytime. Jamil noticed Dr. Munir, Patriot, and Pasha among the foreign uniforms. When he saw them he slapped his knees like the way the Kurdish Sergeant in his Battalion did. The three prisoners were circled by twenty armed British and five uniformed Turkish Police Officers. Jamil tried to think about what he could do. For the second time that night, he felt hopeless. His hand that was holding the gun started to shake. The trucks that were carrying the prisoners and their captors started moving with a lot of noise. They went in the Kadikoy direction.

Jamil had never felt this hopeless and lonely in his life; even when he was an inmate at the Taskisla prison cell, at the age of seventeen. He didn’t have anywhere to go. He didn’t have anything to do. He was facing the sea and he was close to the train station but he felt he had nowhere to go. He felt like he was in a foreign country where no one spoke his language. He even felt abandoned by the enemy.

He stroked his mustache. The trucks went away and it was silent again. There were only dogs and roosters. He was about to light another cigarette when he saw a shadow by the wharf road. He thought, ‘Oh! It must be Gulnihal; I will talk to her and learn what had happened.’ He was just about to walk towards her when he heard the security guard’s stick hitting the stone pavement. He wondered what to do. He was scratching his chin with the matchbox. He decided it was best not to talk to the guard and go to the train station. He got mad at himself for not knowing the train schedule. He needed to know the last train’s departure time. He was backing off.

The security guard was approaching. Even though he previously decided to go to the train station; he changed his mind, lit a cigarette, and went to the street, walking calmly. “Hey Guard! Good evening. Was the operation successfully completed?”

The Guard approached him and checked him from head to toe. “I don’t think I know you. Who are you? What do you want to know?”

“I am Political Bureau Chief Ibrahim. Did they find the fourth criminal?”

“No, not yet.” The security guard was looking at him suspiciously.

“Did you come in the truck?”

“Yes, I came in the truck.”

“Why didn’t you leave?”

“How long have you been a guard?”

“I...,” the guard hesitated, “not too long I started this job four months ago. I was performing military duties at the gunpowder factory. Then I came here. I inherited this post from my uncle.”

“I knew you were new to this job. Where do you think the fourth guy might be hiding?”

“I don’t know, Chief. This is an upper-class area. There won’t be anyone here to shelter the likes of him.”

“Don’t be so sure. What about the Doctor? He is one of them.”

“Dr.Munir won’t let the Unionists come to his house to hide. No one will believe that.  That’s a complete lie. The Doctor had been in a lot of trouble because of the Unionists. Ask Police Officer Murtaza! He sighed. It has been a couple of days since the Britts came here. They were investigating. I didn’t know what for. If only I knew.” He tried to compose himself. “There is nothing I can do now. Those Unionists came here to see the Doctor for medical reasons. Dr. Munir offered them some tea before they left. Those English don’t understand that. I tried to explain that to the Turkish Commissar that came with them. I told them it is not what it seems. He was cross with me and told me that I was not paying attention to what was happening in the neighborhood. He said, ‘They will hang you all. You are not paying attention.’ Well of course I know this neighborhood better than him. He asked me, repeatedly, ‘Where is the fourth guy?’ I said I didn’t know.”

“Do you think I can find a carriage here?”

“Good luck with that, at this hour it is difficult.”

“When is the last train from the Station?”

“Oh! The last train already left.”

Jamil offered him a cigarette and then went away.

It was an unlucky wedding night but when he thought about it now he realized that his luck was turning. If they hadn’t the wedding tonight he would have been in the same truck with the others now. He thought about Maksood. ‘I wish I could have seen Arab’s face tonight, he must be very angry’.

He felt calmer when he thought of Arab; his confusion was easing. He was taking wider steps. He walked to Uskudar in two hours at a steady pace. He ran into two Patrol Officers while walking but they didn’t ask him anything. What would he tell them if they asked? They might have taken him to the Police Station. He didn’t want to think about this and he was successful at avoiding those thoughts.

During this two-hour period, he thought about his whole life; he thought about childhood memories, things that he never thought about before. All these images seemed like someone else’s life and passed before his eyes like a motion picture.

When he couldn’t find any open coffee houses at Uskudar, he went to the waiting area. He saw some people sleeping on the benches.

He had two cups of saleb. Drinking something warm made him feel better. He was tired and sleepy. The first boat of the morning was two hours later. He wasn’t able to think about either Neriman or his friends who got caught . He was thinking of other memories and other thoughts. He had mixed feelings. He watched the Albanian Saleb Seller. He looked like he didn’t have any worries. Jamil envied him.

It was getting colder; he went to the waiting area and took a seat. He pressed his back to the hard wooden seat and tried not to sleep. Just as he was about to doze off a Police officer looked through the door. He was red-eyed from lack of sleep. He looked at the men who were sleeping on the benches and shook his head. Then he went away. He didn’t look like he was looking for anyone, yet Jamil got nervous anyway. Jamil stood and pretended to walk around and check if someone was outside. He couldn’t see the Police Officer and he was worried. He thought, ‘He will go to the Police Station now and get some backup. They will come to get me. They will say, freeze’... He didn’t want to think anymore and started to walk in the Chengelkoy direction. He was walking faster now.

He studied at Kuleli Military High School, and for that reason he knew the Anatolian side of the Bosporus very well. He remembered his girlfriend Nadire. He got caught after spending the night with her. Nadire’s father was Nazif Pasha, a member of the Advisory Council and they were living at Kuzguncuk. They had been seeing each other for three years. Nadire was a fearless woman. She saw Jamil while he was swimming and liked him right away. When they met she was a married woman, married for a year. Her husband was handsome and rich; she married him because she liked him. Yet she was still making love to Jamil when her husband was on call at the Palace. She was taking a huge risk. They were meeting at the wooded areas and in the boat houses of the old mansions. He learned all these secret places from her. They broke up before Jamil went to Macedonia. Nadire changed after she had her second baby, she aged before her time. Then he heard that she turned to religion and started to frequent the tekkes. He hadn’t seen her since.

When he approached the neighborhoods where he had spent his teenage years, he felt distanced from himself, he felt shattered. It was as if 889 Jamil Beshiktash was someone else and he was telling him the stories of his youth, walking by his side.

He was descending down from an imaginary stairs to the years past. It was a dead end. It was like living in time, backward. He was going to see Nadire in the wooded area in front of an old broken wall; she was standing up and whispering Jamil’s name.

What did Halil Pasha do to prevent Patriot from firing? Did he hold his wrist like he did before? Patriot was the happiest student in the class. Always smiling and joking around. When did he begin carrying this burden of living a double life? When did he start keeping terrible secrets even from himself? When did Patriot become Patriot? He seemed to leave his body and watch everything from above absentmindedly. When did he give up the fights and drinking? Why did he start to hide his immense muscle power? He has a sharp attitude when he uses the guns, how did he hide that side of himself when he was not firing his gun, and appeared relaxed all the time?

When Jamil got arrested, Patriot was the only one who cared. Jamil couldn’t explain where he was at the night where the notices were being distributed. Omer was able to send the news to him at Taskisla when the situation was still serious for everyone. He was arrested because he couldn’t prove that he was not involved in distributing the bulletins that night. Patriot went to see the President of the Military Schools and explained to him that Jamil was not involved in political matters; he was simply not talking because he was thinking about the reputation of the lady he was seeing. Jamil got out of prison after spending three months and six weeks there and was not expelled from the Military school because of Patriot’s efforts. The thought of expulsion from the Military school made his skin crawl like it always did.

When he was passing under the bridges that connect the Bosporus mansions to the woods on the hills over the road he heard his own loud footsteps. He noticed that he was living in the past for that moment. It was a proud moment like challenging death. He left behind his wife and his friends, in front of him there was nothing. There were no friends, no enemies; there was no one that he knew.

His old school didn’t even deserve to be valued as a memory in this land where the army had disbanded.

On a terrible night like this, all his past connections had disappeared, all the memories, all the feelings, and all the power necessary for struggle was shattered. He didn’t dare to face his school and turned back. He turned back as if he was hiding from someone.

He realized that talking to Maksood would be difficult when the phone operator asked him to repeat the number of Hasan Pasha Police Station. When the girl asked him to repeat the last number; he said, ‘3’. They had appointed a Lieutenant who was a member of the Nigehban Association, to Maksood’s Station to keep an eye on him because of the fact that he was a known Unionist. A vulgar voice answered the phone; “Hello...Hello...”

“I’d like to speak to Maksood, please”

“Who is this? Why do you need to talk to Maksood?”

“Is he available?”

“I am asking who you are! You must identify yourself to me first. I am on duty here.”

Jamil put the phone down quietly. He was hoping Maksood would arrange somewhere to sleep at the Station or send him to a hotel that he knew to be secure. He left the Pharmacy. He went to Galata Wharf, looked around, and started to stare at the sea. It was 9 o’clock in the morning.

It was May fifteen, 1919, a sunny Thursday morning. He didn’t have anywhere to go. He didn’t have anyone to ask for help. He didn’t have any business to conduct. This loneliness felt like death. It was worse than being arrested and sent to exile to Devil’s Island. He knitted his brows. His fists were in his raincoat pockets, pushing. He began walking to the Bridge looking straight ahead.

Jamil woke up with a disgusted feeling and couldn’t figure out where he was. He looked around confused. He remembered coming to Gulhane Park and sitting on this bench and thinking about going away when the sun bothered his eyes. Then he must have slept.

He woke up to the overwhelming smell of body odor coming from two young people in front of him.

The older one showed him another boy who was walking in the direction of the Lion statue. The lion was hunched over his prey. “See that boy, he was going to search your pockets for money; we didn’t let him!”

“What?”

“We told him that we know you. Are you an Officer?”

“No. Why would you say that? I don’t look like an Officer, do I?”

“I don’t know. Usually, Officers come here at this hour. Do you have money?”

“How much do you need?”

“Doesn’t matter. Do you have any money?”

“Why do you ask?”

“We have to see the money upfront.” He shook his head and sighed as if to say, ‘What has this world come to.’ The boy said, “People always say they have money and play with loose change in their pocket. Then they go away without paying.”

Jamil understood. The blond boy who was talking had blue eyes. In those eyes, there was the look of an honorable man who had been defeated and untouchable. The younger one had darker skin and was weaker. He was coughing violently. His clothes were old rags. His jacket was too big for him. The shoulders of the jacket were on his elbows. There was a rip on the left side of the jacket. The pockets were very low. One of the boys asked, “Do you happen to know the Arab Major?”

“What Arab Major? Who are you talking about?”

“Haji Arab”

“Why do you ask?”

“Last time he was here he didn’t have enough change and he still owes us four qurushs. Do you have cigarettes?”

Jamil was surprised. “Do you smoke?”

“He is asking me if I smoke.”

Jamil found his package and offered them to him. The older boy took one and elbowed the other to do the same. “Ali, you get one. Why don’t you?”

With that Ali took one cigarette as well and they started to smoke like they had been addicts for a long time.

The sun was in their eyes and the younger one squinted.

“What is your name?”

“Tayyar.”

“Who is the other one?”

“Ali.”

“Are you brothers?”

“No.”

“Do you go to school?”

“He is not going to school.”

“What about you?”

“Mother thinks I am going to school, but I don’t. I hide my bag in the Bosnian’s hut.”

“Who is the Bosnian?”

“He is a gardener in this park.”

“Where is your dad?”

“He is a martyr. He died at Gallipoli. Cannon fire destroyed his body.”

“Cannon” Jamil felt the chills. “How do you know?”

“Nejmi Bey told me. Ali thinks his father is a martyr too but he doesn’t know. His father died from the Spanish flu.”

“He is lying. My dad is a martyr too. I swear. Ask my mom...”

“Shut up. I am going to hit you!”

Jamil looked ahead. With the tall trees, manicured lawn, and neat paths, Gulhane Park was really calm and peaceful on this May Day. The rustle of the leaves and bird chirping suited the quiet and peacefulness of the park.

“Were you wounded on your head as well?”

Jamil took his hands away from his eyes when he heard the boy asking him a question. He looked at the boy puzzled.

“The Arab Major has a bullet in his head. He covers his eyes with his hands. He can’t remember the names and mispronounces words. Am I right? Is it because of the bullet?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you are right.”

Tayyar asked him, “Are you waiting for someone?”

“No.”

“Hasan told me that a tall handsome man will come today.”

“Who is Hasan?

“A useless guy! He acts brave but I don’t buy that. He got out of prison recently for theft. He brags as if he murdered someone.” He checked around as if he was afraid of something. He added, “Don’t say this to anyone but I think he goes out with foreign soldiers. He denies it but I think he even goes out with the Blacks!”  He looked depressed. He asked without looking up. “So, do you want it?”
“What?”

“Don’t you understand?” He was surprised at that.

“No, I don’t understand what you are talking about.”

“Why did you give me a cigarette then? If you want it is twenty-five qurushs and you have to give some money to him because he will guard. We have to be quick before this place gets crowded. Do you have any physical handicap?”

“Why do you ask?”

“We will go down to the water cisterns. One guy went down with us the other day but he couldn’t climb out. The Bosnian gardener helped him after taking twenty-five qurush in advance. If you can’t go down in the cistern we can go ask the caretaker. If you pay some money to him it is safer there.”

“What caretaker?”

“The caretaker of Hagia Sofia. He has a room there.”

“Why in the world would the caretaker agree to such a thing?”

“He likes that kind of stuff. He doesn’t pay much though. Hasan says he gave fifty qurushs to him for the first time. I don’t believe him. I think he just gave him ten qurushs. He likes climbing to the top of the minaret.”

“Why?”

“As you climb up you can observe the view all around. You can see the Bridge, Uskudar, and the fire tower from there.”

Jamil’s old shrapnel wound in his shoulder started to ache. He had a cramp in his stomach. His face scrunched in pain.

The kids stared at him with curiosity.  They looked at him with eager anticipation.  Jamil stood up and put his hand in his pocket. The boys got scared and backed off. Jamil gave them ten qurushs each.

“No. It is twenty-five qurushs.”

Jamil went away. His face was burning with anger and his muscles on his left arm started to tingle.

“Let me see. Did he give you ten qurushs as well? It is our lucky day!”

 

It was Friday; the coffee house in front of the Hagia Sophia was busy. Jamil went to the tents in the back street. When the boy was talking about the Caretaker of Saint Sophia, The Church of Holy Wisdom, he remembered Lieutenant Rajab. He was the Commander of the unit who was responsible for protecting Saint Sophia in case the Greeks caused a commotion. He heard that from Maksood. When he approached the tent, Jamil smiled. ‘How convenient!’  Rajab was the kind of guy who pretended to be pious when he was serving on the fronts. He was pretending to be praying and fasting all the time so they wouldn’t give him difficult jobs. It didn’t take the others to realize the fact that he was just being lazy. Rajab didn’t even bother to turn the pages when he was reading the Quran.

Rajab’s unit was composed of irregulars as usual. A couple of soldiers were boiling something on top of a makeshift stove by the wall with an iron fence, next to the Street.

A tall chubby sergeant placed a mirror on the minaret wall and began shaving. When Jamil said, “Hello”, he pretended not to hear. “Sergeant! Where is the Lieutenant?”

“Which one?”

 “How many Lieutenants are there?”

“One...but...”

“I am looking for Rajab.”

The Sergeant turned to look at Jamil and then talked as if he didn’t like what he saw. “Isn’t he at the tent?”

“Which tent?”

“The circle one.”

“I don’t know.”

“You should know.” He continued shaving. “First, look for him, then ask.”

Jamil shook his head and walked away.

The door of the tent was open. The Lieutenant was singing while he was sewing something. He didn’t have his jacket on and he was barefoot. He looked like he hadn’t shaved for a couple of days. He pricked himself with the needle and cursed.

He looked at Jamil and didn’t recognize him. He made a gesture as if to ask what he wanted. Jamil winked at him the same way he had before.

“Who are you?”

“Rajab! Have you learned a new trade as a tailor? Military personnel don’t open up shop!”

“Oh! Captain Jamil! I was thinking about you not too long ago. I heard a loud voice and thought about the Second Gaza campaign. I was wondering where you had been.” He jumped to his feet and showed him a place to sit. He took his jacket off the stool and threw it on the bed. “Please take a seat.” He called to someone. “Ali, come here.”

Ali had dark skin and he was very slim. He stood in attention but the way he saluted them was not really military like. “Yes, Lieutenant! What can I do for you?” He was smiling.

“Where have you been? Then he asked Jamil. “Would you like tea or coffee, Captain?”

“Bring us two cups of tea, make the tea yourself, and wash the cups well, it has to be very good!”

Jamil went in the tent. He saw the Quran case hanging on the wall. He smiled. “Captain Maksood told me that, you were stationed here. I was in the neighborhood I wanted to see you.”

“I like Maksood. I haven’t seen him for a while. How is he? He likes joking. I like him but he doesn’t like me. I told him he was Arab and I was Zaybak, however he doesn’t like me.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I wanted him to send two hookers to this neighborhood. He refused.”

Jamil sat. Rajab looked like he was going to continue sewing, then he put it away. “Continue what you were doing. You haven’t got married? Couldn’t you find a girl that will sew for you?”

“No. After this war, the women changed, Captain. They are not sitting in their living rooms and sewing anymore.”

“They are not?”

“They want to work themselves. The other day I asked one girl to sew for me, and she refused. She said she was looking for a tailor to sew her buttons as well!  Are you married?”

“No.”

“Good! One outcome of all those Balkan Wars and Mobilization was that we got away with not marrying. Look at the others who have been married.”

Then Ali came with two cups of tea. Rajab looked through the clear glass and liked the color of the tea. He said, “Good job Ali. If we were not defeated, I would promote you to Corporal, right this minute. Well done. Go, find the Sergeant. I need to see him.” He turned to Jamil. He said, “You see, there is no more order in the Ottoman Army. We are sitting on Gunpowder barrels. If there is some commotion in the street; I get nervous. I am afraid the Greeks might attempt to invade Hagia Sophia.”

“Do you think they might dare to ambush?”

“You never know. I am responsible for protecting Hagia Sophia. What if they come and take it from us? I would commit suicide in shame. What are we protecting here? We are not guarding those stone walls. It is a holy place like the Prophet’s grave!”

The sergeant came in. He said, “Sergeant Riza, I called you for something...I forgot...Oh! Yes! What is the menu today? We have a guest. Have you served in the Palestinian Front?

“No, Lieutenant, I haven’t.”

“Then you wouldn’t know Captain Jamil. If you don’t know Captain Jamil it means you haven’t seen a really good Gunner. Now, he is a guest here. Go and prepare something for us.”

“I won’t stay for dinner.”

“No. We will have dinner together. We have plans for tonight. Two beautiful women will come to visit us. They are so beautiful that even Sultan Hamid can’t dream of girls this beautiful.” He said to the Sergeant, “Oh! I remember it is Friday, and we will have meat and rice pilaf on the menu and halva for dessert as well. I will pay for the salad separately, and buy some yogurt as well.”

He heard the prayer call and said, “Oh! It is time. I have to go to Friday prayers now. Go, do as I said.”

When the Sergeant left, Rajab swore at him. Why, Jamil didn’t know. After lunch, Jamil saw the French Marine soldiers who came to the Hagia Sophia Mosque to see Friday prayers. They had red pom-poms on their berets. He followed them.

Upon entering the yard the French Soldiers became respectful and stopped joking around. The Caretaker, Abdi, opened the small iron gate for them while saying Bismillah and let them go climb up the ramp to the balcony. Rajab was openly calling Abdi a pedophile. He was a short fat guy.

Abdi said he was impressed by foreign soldiers’ respect for our religion, “Those Christians who came to observe the prayers are “People of the Book” they have great respect for our religion as well. I am impressed with their respect and good upbringing. This is a holy area. Whoever enters the gates of Saint Sophia is impressed by the power of the religion.”

Jamil was disgusted by Abdi because he remembered what Tayyar told him. Abdi had small eyes and his left arm was crippled below the elbow.

 

The French men looked impressed by the glamour of Saint Sophia when they climbed up the ramp and entered the balcony. They were right under the Dome and looking down. They stopped as if they had come to a cliff suddenly.  Jamil was not accustomed to hearing a foreign language under this dome and distanced himself from the French.

Jamil was thinking about the ancient building’s effect on his soul. It was more obvious on the second floor. He felt worse when the caretaker talked. “The Christians made this church so strong without realizing that one day it will serve to Islam. If they knew they wouldn’t work so hard. Last year on the Holy Night two German Ministers came and I overheard them saying that it made them so sad to hear the Quran in Hagia Sophia. Did you hear that? Yet we think of the Germans as friends of Islam. That’s a lie. They are not! They are all the same. They don’t wish any good for the Muslims. I pray for Mehmet the Conqueror’s soul all the time. He took this holy place from the Infidels. Constantine made this building in seven years. Seventy-thousand workers build Hagia Sophia in seven years. White marble was brought from Marmara Island; green porphyry from Egriboz; pink rocks from Afyonkarahisar; and yellow stones from Algeria and Tunis. The foundation, the support system, and the floors are made of stone. They used special bricks and mortar on the building. The height of the Dome is 180 feet. The length from the Mihrab to the door is 270 feet. There were icons of the Angels on all the walls but they have been whitewashed, thank God! There are inscriptions of   Allah and Muhammad on the walls by the famous Calligrapher Kazasker Mustafa Izzed.”

The mosque was becoming full of people. They had all kinds of headdresses, white turban, red Fez, and grey hats. They all mixed together. Jamil and the others were watching them from the balcony. The noise was climbing up the walls and reaching the dome. “On the Night of Honours, there are 7000 lights here. It is like Heaven. Your heart fills with joy. You are so awestruck; you get your prayers wrong. The Indian Muslims also frequent here, especially on rainy days. It is like the whole army that comes here consists of Indian soldiers. I tested them. To my surprise, I found out they knew the Quran by memory. I asked them to recite one passage. They started to recite by memory right away. I stopped them and asked another part. The same thing happened! I was impressed!”

When the muezzin started the prayer call, the French soldiers listened attentively.

Jamil had the same fatigue sweeping over him again. He wanted to sleep. If he sat or even leaned against the wall, he might have dozed off immediately. He bit his lip and tried to keep his eyes open. As the noise climbed up the walls and reached the dome it became hard to bear. There was a sea of people below. They all moved together as they prayed. Jamil closed his eyes and realized that he had to get out of there. He brushed against the wall and passed the French soldiers. He quickly went down to the yard. He saw Ali and asked him where Rajab was. The gypsy found this question weird. “Where else would he be? He is attending to Friday prayers at the mosque, of course.”

Jamil went into the tent. He lay down on the bed without changing his clothes.

When he woke up, it was dark. He had a bad taste in his mouth. He lit a cigarette. It was time for evening prayers and he listened to Muezzin’s call. He didn’t like Arabic. To hear that language made him even more depressed. He wondered where he could go next. “Even if I stayed at someone’s house for a couple of days, what would I do after?” He heard that at Sansaryan Police Station, they were torturing the Unionists. Patriot told him that they were checking the hotels daily so checking into a hotel was out of the question. He thought about sending Rajab to talk to Maksood but didn’t think that he could trust him. “If I told him not to talk to the Lieutenant at Maksood’s Office, Rajab might get scared. If he gets scared then he will mess up. I will better stay here tonight. I will think about what to do tomorrow!” He went outside and washed his face at the Mosque Fountain. He had to shave, and he wanted to trim his mustache. He decided to go to the Barber’s. He was at the gate when he bumped into Rajab. “Jamil, did you hear the bad news?”

Greek Landing in Izmir 15th May 1919

“What happened?”

“The Greek Army landed on Izmir!”

“No way!”

“There is fighting. We have lost a lot.”

“What about the Greek side?”

“They have a lot of loss as well. I went to Military Headquarters to get some news. Some denied there was an invasion. Some said there was a very bloody fight. ‘Aksham’ newspaper wrote that the city was burned down. I couldn’t find a copy of the paper. It was sold out!”

“Oh! That’s too bad. You are from Odemish. It is close to Izmir.”

“That’s right! It’s my home! Good thing, the English aren’t letting the Greeks out of Izmir. What a bad luck we have. I was talking to a Captain associated with ‘Nigehban’. He told me this, but I didn’t believe him. You know him, Karim Konya?”

“Yes. Is he a member of ‘Nigehban’? Why? Did you ask him why?”

“Yes, I asked him. You know he had been involved in a scandal involving mishandling of the funds while buying clothes for the army. The Unionists sent him to Court Marshall because of that. That’s why he is an enemy of the CUP now.”

“What did he say?”

“He heard from Damad Ferid’s aide de camp. He said to me that the British gave Izmir to the Greeks. Then he swore at the Unionists and said that we have to hang them all.”

“Aren’t you a Unionist as well?”

“He doesn’t care about me.”

“Why?”

“He came here one day. I asked him to stay for dinner and I called two hookers as well. He didn’t take me seriously after that.”

“I see. Is there any way we can learn more about the situation?”

“Let’s go to Bayazid, to the telegram Office of the Chief of Staff.”

Jamil felt uncomfortable. He was surprised that Rajab was not that sad about the invasion of Izmir. Rajab commented, “We will learn more if we go to the Telegram Office.”

“I don’t want to go. If it was good news I would go but I don’t feel like going now.”

Rajab thought about this for a minute then said, “That’s right! We can’t stop the world from turning. Let’s have fun tonight, while we still can. It might be our last chance. We will get drunk.” He whispered, “I was going to surprise you, but I will tell you now. I invited someone tonight to make you happy”

“I am not staying”

“No. You are staying tonight. You are my guest. She is really pretty.”

Jamil thought about Neriman. He tried to smile. “Is it a good time for such a thing, Molla Rajab? The whole world is on fire...”

“Don’t worry. We are not the Firemen. We don’t own the world.” He led Jamil to the tent. “Today we will think about having fun, tomorrow we can save the world.”

When they approached the tent, Rajab whistled twice. The gypsy came out quickly. “Is the food ready?”

“Yes.”

“Drinks?”

“I bought some.”

“Appetizers?”

“Ready.”

“What did Abdi say?”

“He said it was OK.”

“Good!” He rubbed his palms. “Jamil, you go to the Barber, everything is ready. We will have a good party tonight”

Abdi was living in a small, two-room apartment behind Hagia Sophia. They climbed steep narrow stairs to his living room. On their right, there was a small stove. Two little windows were opened to Topkapi Palace’s Gulhane wall.

Abdi kept the place nice and tidy, like a neat woman. It was decorated nicely with a couple of carpets. Jamil read the inscriptions on the wall,

“This too will pass...”

“Love…”

“When you were born you cried and people around you laughed. Live an honest life so when you die you will smile and the others cry.”

As Jamil was reading these the Caretaker was smiling shyly.

He had a black hat on, and he was wearing a jacket without a collar. He had crooked legs.

Jamil liked that neat room and he felt at peace there. He thought he might live in an apartment like this with Neriman. He didn’t want to think about either Neriman’s son Enver or Salime Hanim. He wanted to forget about General von Kress and his binoculars. He wanted to forget about his Mouser Gun. He didn’t want anybody to follow him. He didn’t want to worry about either money or the enemies’ invasion of the country. Then he heard Rajab’s voice, “Here we go Captain. Don’t pay attention to those inscriptions”

The caretaker said, “Rajab, there are some holy words on these inscriptions. Please, respect them.”

Rajab said to him, “Abdi, you talk about respecting religion. I know what you do. And you know I don’t tolerate those kinds of things. If I hear that you do anything inappropriate with the children, you will be in trouble.”

“Good Heavens! No, I am not that kind of man, Lieutenant! I am not a bad person.”

“I know you are a good person, you were kind to me. With all your good deeds I believe you will go to heaven one day. But I am warning you. Don’t do anything wrong!”

Rajab looked at the table and he was satisfied with the food and drink. There were enough cigarettes as well. He gave money to the Gypsy. He ordered, “Today we need to double the guards. It is a dangerous night, be very careful! If the Infidels come to the mosque and go to the roof and take the Crescent away and replace it with a cross and Church Bells...If they start to ring those Bells...I will put all of you in front of the Fire squad!”

The Caretaker was listening to this in horror as if it was really happening tonight. He couldn’t breathe and tried to open his shirt. “God forbid! I would prefer to die! We should all die if something terrible like this ever happens.”

“You go get the woman, come back quickly. Remember my warning!” Rajab gave him some money too.

“Please don’t say that.”

“If you do anything wrong you will pay for it dearly!”

Abdi was almost crying as he was going out.

Rajab said to Jamil, “I think he was abused as a kid as well. Those types usually have something traumatic like that in their past.”

“Where did he go to get the woman from?”

“She lives around here. The mosque foundation has some houses on the Street. She is a housewife. She sees clients for a couple of nights a week. Her husband was a Reserve Officer, he died at Gallipoli. She has a son. We are trying to help them. We send them food sometimes. Her name is Husniye. She is literate. Her voice is not bad. She works at the Tobacco Factory. She says she is doing this for money but I think she likes to be with men. She is a loose woman. Even when her husband was alive she was doing this secretly. The poor man didn’t divorce her because of the kid.” He sighed. “It is a terrible thing. I don’t want to get married because the times are bad.” He listened outside to hear if they were coming. “She is cross with Nazife,” Rajab added.

“Who is Nazife?”

“Her friend.”

“Why is she cross with her?”

“She is jealous. I didn’t know Nazife before; Husniye wanted her to join us. I told her I didn’t want anyone else but her. She said it would be more fun if we tried a threesome. I am stupid.  I accepted. She got mad for no reason. You know women. They get mad suddenly for no reason!”

“They say the diseases are rampant!”

“That’s right!”

“Don’t you worry?”

“No. The Ottoman knows no fear!” He was really bragging. “I am used to be with these women I don’t care about the diseases.”

They heard the door and footsteps coming upstairs. Jamil didn’t like this. He thought, “She will be embarrassed when she sees me. I am a stranger to her.”

He was worrying about her.

“Good Evening, Gentlemen. Oh, I thought it was Karim Bey. I am sorry.”

Jamil stood up. Rajab checked the woman head to toe. He liked her appearance. Rajab said to Jamil, “Sit down, she is not a stranger. She is our friend, Husniye.” He winked at her. “Captain Jamil is ten times better than Karim.”

Husniye put her coat on the divan. She stretched her hand out to Jamil. The light was on her face. Jamil thought he knew her from somewhere. He couldn’t remember. “Nice to meet you. Please, be seated Captain.” She stroked Rajab’s face. “What does that mean, dear? He is better than Karim.” She shook her head. “Don’t say things like that or else I will get interested in him.”

“You are beautiful tonight.”

She had a tight black silk dress on. She had a beautiful figure. She was easygoing. Jamil didn’t feel embarrassed anymore. He wasn’t shy because he knew there wouldn’t be anything between them. Husniye was filling up the glasses. She was moving with grace. As she moved her silk dress shone making her breasts more noticeable.

“You are so pretty. Why did you get jealous of Nazife?”

“I’m not jealous. Why do you say that? She was disrespectful.”

“Don’t say that! She was polite.”

“She was respectful to you but she did something that I can’t tolerate.”

“What happened?”

“She made a move on me. They were saying that she had Lesbian tendencies but I didn’t believe them. Damn it!  All these wars change people. Women don’t have their men anymore, and they act weird. She said to me, ‘After Rajab sleeps, let’s be together.’”

“Wow! Why didn’t you tell me? The world really has changed a lot!”

Husniye filled up the cups again. She was talking liberally but she was not disrespectful. She didn’t look like Neriman at all, but Jamil thought of Neriman anyway. He couldn’t figure out why he thought Husniye looked like someone he knew.

“How is Tayyar?”

“He is fine.”

Jamil asked, “Who is Tayyar?”

“He is Husniye’s son. Is he attending school?”

Husniye talked about her son. She said that Tayyar liked school so much and he was a good student. Jamil remembered the boy in the park. He realized Tayyar looked like Husniye, that’s why he thought Husniye was familiar. He felt sad. She continued to talk about her son. He was very smart. She was afraid that he might notice something. She was working at the Tobacco Factory and she was often lying that she was working the night shift. One day she really had to work there and she took her son with her so that the child would believe her next time she lied.

Rajab got bored and didn’t hide his boredom. “Let’s not talk about the kids anymore. Let’s have a party, sing for us. ”

Husniye didn’t want to sing. She said she had a sore throat and that Abdi told her not to use her voice. She was afraid the neighbors might notice she was there and so on.”

“Never mind the neighbors. Don’t make me mad or I will burn the whole neighborhood. Come on sing for us.”

“Are you crazy? My house is in this neighborhood as well.”

“Sing, please, because if you don’t, I will.  I will sing Aegean songs, and then you won’t be able to stop me all night.”

He ate some cheese.

Husniye stroked his cheek, “I would normally sing for you but tonight… All right, all right. Tayyar’s dad was like that. He used to insist on me singing when he drank.”

She began telling Jamil, “He liked music, he was playing the lute. He died at Gallipoli. I cried a lot. I feel like I am losing my mind sometimes.”

Rajab said, “Leave the dead alone. We have to continue living. The ones who survived the war are not so lucky as well. What did Koroglu’s dad say?  ‘I am blind but there is nothing left to be seen anyway.’ Never mind. Sing now.”

Husniye finished her drink, pushed her hair back, and started to sing in a low voice while rolling the edge of the tablecloth.

She had a nice voice. Her face looked prettier as she sang. She looked like an innocent child. She even looked more like Tayyar at that moment. Jamil’s chest felt tight. He thought, “Damn it! All those wars crushed people like bulldozers, destroyed the families, relationships.”

Husniye drank some more, she was singing one song after another. She looked happy. Later on as she became drunk she was quiet. She seemed preoccupied. She raised her hand to silence Rajab when he was singing. She said, “I will sing you a song that my deceased husband used to like.”

Jamil was hearing this song for the first time.

“I kept my promise

Your picture is with me

Your name is on my lips

I haven’t forgotten you…”

Jamil wondered what the dead husband looked like. He thought, “Maybe he looked like Tayyar. That’s if Husniye was faithful at the time.” Then he saw Husniye crying and he was ashamed of his thoughts.

She was singing and crying at the same time. When she finished singing she smiled at Jamil. She seemed hopeless and apologetic. Rajab said, “No. Don’t cry Husniye. Dry your eyes. Fill up the glasses.  Give me the drums. It is not that bad. It is not the end of the world. I’ll play, you dance”

“Are you crazy? Don’t you know that a police officer lives in the corner house? They say he is a strict man!”

“What would the Police say to us? Don’t you know who we are? Do you know Jamil? He is the famous “Jehennem!”  Don’t get him mad. He will fire his cannons and set Istanbul on fire! Stand up and dance, take your clothes off!”

Husniye sighed. She filled the glasses. “Rajab, it is getting late, finish your drink and let’s go to bed. I am tired.”

“I want you to dance, let’s see...”

“Please.” Her speech was slurred with drunkenness. “I don’t feel like dancing. I am shy because of him.” She pointed at Jamil.

Rajab tried to take her clothes off and Husniye got mad. Jamil intervened. “What’s going on?” He was known for his authoritative voice in the army.

Rajab stood up and left the room immediately. Husniye was impressed by Jamil. She wondered how he made Rajab come to his senses. She gave him a hug and kissed him on the mouth. “Delicious.” Then she left the room as well.

When Rajab came back, Jamil was resting his eyes. “Captain Jamil!”

“Yes.”

“Do you want her to come to your room first?”

“No.”

“Don’t worry, she is not sick or anything.”

“No, I don’t like that kind of thing.”

“OK, then I guess I have to volunteer for the job.  Your room is ready. Good night.”

 

Jamil woke up with the Morning Prayer Call. He was dreaming about Neriman. She was naked and he was trying to cover her nakedness with his hands. He was wet with sweat. His mouth was dry. It was dawn. He remembered where he was, he noticed someone was opening the door. Jamil thought about Neriman coming to his room barefoot on tiptoe, trying to be quiet so no one would hear. It was not her; it was Husniye who was in his bed. She came earlier, saying she was cold she went under the covers with him. He hugged Husniye angrily then went back to sleep.

“Captain...Jamil...”

“Who is there? What is it?”

“It’s me, Rajab.”

Jamil was waking. He asked, “What is going on? What time is it?”

“It is almost ten.”

Jamil looked around. He noticed the wet towel on the bed and realized that it was not only a dream and he felt embarrassed. He smiled. “Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” He took a cigarette. “We drank too much.” He lit it. “Did you get newspapers? What is happening in Izmir?”

“Captain, don’t worry about Izmir right now. Karim was here earlier. Karim Konya. I told him that you were here. He wanted to see you. He asked for your address. I think they are looking for you. I got suspicious. Then he told me that you are wanted for wounding a Police Officer.”

“It is not important. He wasn’t in his uniform. He was disrespectful. I beat him up a little.”

“He told me that the English wanted you because you helped Patriot escape from somewhere. I told you Karim was a member of the Guardian Officers Association Nigehban. That’s why I got suspicious of him. I told him that you were not here anymore. You just came in to say ‘Hi’ and left. But I don’t think he believed me. Get dressed quickly. He might investigate and question the soldiers and the sergeant. I don’t trust Abdi; he might say something to him.”

“Don’t worry; I will leave right away.”

“I will help you. I am afraid if you get arrested there will be too much sorrow for you. I will go see Maksood; you go to the Military Museum. They won’t look for you there. Get dressed and go to the back streets, enter the Palace grounds, and get yourself a ticket for the museum for five bucks. I will talk to Maksood.  If they are really after you, then you can’t go back home!”

 

“It is a good idea.”

“Don’t go anywhere until I come back. You know they insult Turkish Officers when they capture them. Be careful!”

Jamil got dressed quickly and went to the Palace grounds from the back street. He purchased a ticket and entered the Military Museum. He hadn’t been there before. The military museum is located in the Hagia Irene Church. The ancient building was cool and not lit very well. There were all kinds of old guns on display. At first, he didn’t really pay attention to them. He saw chain mail armor, shields, helmets, old fashion shotguns that fired in half an hour intervals. They were no good in comparison with the modern cannons and Mitrailleuse heavy machine guns. He was looking at the maces, pikes, lances, and war axes. At the same time, he was wondering how he would get out of this situation.

                                                                    Hagia Irene

He came to Selim’s painting at Chaldiran War. He felt suspicious, nervous, and angry all at once. Sultan Selim was riding his horse. He looked like he was almost alone on the battlefield. He had his sword raised and he crouched. Jamil wondered if the Sultan separated from the special guards on the battlefield and attacked the enemy alone in the most heated moment of the war. When Jamil entered the museum he was depressed. Now he was feeling much better. He was surprised at how he was feeling better at this moment. At first, he wasn’t interested in that ancient warfare. They didn’t mean anything to him but now they seemed valuable. He was watching the swords, the shotguns, and the silver embroidery on the guns with interest. Who did they belong to? He tried to imagine how the first owners were happy when they first had them in their hands.  How long did they use those guns? How many people did they kill? Did they fall while using them? Who did this curved sword, with an inscription of a Quran verse on its steel belong to? Did it belong to a gentleman from a city or a real warrior? If he was a real warrior, did he know how to push his sword through the small indents of the armors' of the knights?

He was almost going to laugh when he saw the early firearms, pistols, matchlocks, and muskets. Their first owners must have valued those guns a lot. They were growing on him.  He started to like them. Upon seeing those Koroglu said, ‘When the firearm was invented all bravery ceased.’ He saw all those firearms lying side by side and he thought the shotgun didn’t change much.

In the beginning, The Janissary Corps used firearms as well as swords, but the Ottomans couldn’t keep up with the newer models and Janissaries were disheartened later on.

The Ottomans must have been thinking of comfort. All the items here, like the saddles, helmets, and stirrups looked like they were designed with comfort in mind. Since he started military school, he found the Janissary war uniforms odd. Those mighty warriors that the world had feared for centuries were wearing long tunics like women. He realized now that they liked to be comfortable and they had to sleep in their uniforms. No wonder when modern western uniforms were first introduced the Janissaries didn’t like them.

The men from the eastern provinces like Malatya, Urfa, Mardin, Marash, and Aintab were used to wearing baggy pants. When they first joined the army the soldiers in his Batallion had difficulty getting used to modern uniforms. All changes are difficult, especially if the change comes from a foreign culture.

He was surprised to see that the museum had a movie theatre. It was a small room and its curtain was about half the size of a regular theatre curtain. There was a small piano in the room as well. They advertised that a Charlie Chaplin movie, ‘Shoulder Arms’ was on at two o’clock.

Charlie Chaplin looked even more miserable in his uniform. His shotgun with bayonet was almost taller than him. He had large shoes.  In his belt, he had a bagman large kettle, grater, some cutlery, an out rope, and a whistle tucked in. His uniform was far too big for him. He had a metal helmet on. He looked tired, sad, and suspicious.

 

Jamil wondered why Americans let him make fun of the Army, which had won one of the greatest victories. He didn’t get that.

He was preoccupied but he wasn’t necessarily worried. While he was examining all the displays of the swords, the draggers, the pistols, and the shotguns, he was thinking of Neriman, Enver, Husniye, Tayyar, and Patriot, who was arrested. He wondered what they were doing at that moment. When he came across the door opening into a dark place like a cave, he realized that he was passing through that place for the second time. The museum guard told him that it was a secret passage leading to Hagia Sophia, but it was not safe anymore, so it wasn’t used.

He checked around and saw the stairs ahead of him in the distance. He raised his head. There was a balcony surrounding the Dome. He continued strolling. Rajab was late, and Jamil got bored.

When he went upstairs he saw the mannequins dressed as Ottoman civil servants, army members, and intellectuals. All the mannequins looked like each other. All the Ottomans including the Janissary soldier, who was making popcorn, and the executioner, had a large build like a wrestler, had big mustaches, and had pink cheeks.

The clothes were plain colored. Jamil didn’t like the mannequins. They were not made by an artist. They looked ordinary. Whoever made those mannequins was either scared of the Ottomans or disgusted by them. The eyes of the mannequins were wide open. They wanted to make the mannequins look intimidating by giving them extra thick mustaches, but they looked ridiculous.

Jamil had felt better when he was examining the weapons but here he was feeling down. He checked the time. It was ten past twelve. He was hungry. He wondered where Rajab was, he looked down from the Balcony. The downstairs looked like a war map. He wanted to smoke for the fourth time since he entered the building. But it was not allowed in the museum. He got mad at all the rules that forbid people from doing something. He got mad at Rajab, who was late, at whoever commissioned those ugly mannequins, and whoever made them, and finally, at himself for walking among them aimlessly.

He walked fast and went out of the building. The yard looked naked. It was more noticeable in the May sun. He approached the old Maple trees. Their branches were supported by some concrete supports. The trees were almost dead inside. They only had the outer bark. The only reason they valued this tree was that they used to hang people from its branches. Jamil didn’t understand why they were protecting that bloody tree and treating it like an antique that had to be preserved. He felt tired. It was the kind of fatigue that people feel after they visit museums. He sat under that tree. His cigarette didn’t taste good. The palace yard looked empty; neither the sun nor the spring made him happy.

He was feeling this way not because he was wanted by the police but because he was for the first time in his life independent. He didn’t have any attachments. He didn’t belong anywhere. Maybe both Maksood and Rajab forgot about him and were telling each other dirty jokes. He wondered where he would be most happy at this moment. He was surprised that his first thought was not being by Neriman’s side. He thought about the Mansion he stayed at in Caddebostan with his friends. He lived there like a prisoner yet he thought about there first. He wondered if he didn’t love Neriman. He asked himself. “Didn’t I love her for so many years?”

When he noticed Rajab coming from the direction of Sultan Ahmet, through the gate by the fountain, he wasn’t happy. He stood up to greet him. Rajab said, “I am sorry, I am late. It is not my fault. That stupid guy was after me.”

“Who?”

“The new assistant of Maksood. Maksood said that he wanted to fire bullets in his stomach.”

“Is there any news from Patriot?”

“Yes, there is. He is doing all right. They are at Bekiraga Prison. The English were respectful to Halil Pasha. They are OK.”

“Dr. Munir?

“Munir was arrested as well but he will be released soon. Patriot and Halil Pasha told them that they were at the house for medical check-ups.”

“Why did they raid the house?”

“The neighbor’s Greek gardener informed them”

“Did Arab tell you anything about my house?”

“Yes, he told me that your family asked for the Mukhtar. Yahya Hodja came to their help. When they couldn’t find you at the house, the Officers were disappointed. Hodja told them it was inappropriate to search a house based on what a child said, and they shouldn’t listen to the likes of the Grocer Haji. Maksood said that your family is doing fine.”

He was searching his pockets for something as he was talking. He gave Jamil ten Liras. “Maksood sent you this money and he said he will send you some more if you need some. And that’s the paper...”

“What is that?”

“We thought you should go to the Army Retired Personnel Lodge. That’s the best place for you right now!”

“Where is that lodge?”

“It is located at Teshvikiye. You will look for ‘Sharif Pasha Mansion’. Maksood asked the Istanbul Guards’ Commanders’ Office to issue you an identity card for you.  Captain Tosun.”

“What?”

“You are not a gunner anymore and your name is not Captain Jamil. You were given a new identity as a Cavalry Officer. You will be staying there for 25 qurush a night.”

“25 qurush?”

“There is another section cheaper for fifteen qurush for lower ranks. You are going to stay with the Majors.”

“Does that include the meal? Because if it does then I would stay there as long as I live.”

“No, it is not included, you can cook your own food or you can go out to eat. Maksood said you should be careful. He will also call the Manager of the Lodge. If there were any searches, he will let you know beforehand. Maksood said you have to put up with boredom for a couple of days. There is no other way. This is a good solution for now. He is hoping to find another place for you soon. He said you shouldn’t go out in the daytime. He will let you know when you can go home to see your family. I think you should go through the park gates and take a tramway to Teshvikiye right away. Damn, that Gardener! If you hear some Greek gardener around Erenkoy is dead these days… You will know who shot him!”

“There will be some people who might know me. They will ask, ‘How come ‘Jehennem’ became ‘Tosun’’?”

“Don’t worry, most of the residents are Reserve Officers from Madrasah; and the ones who know you will keep quiet.”

Rajab winked but he wasn’t in a happy mood.

 

Jamil asked a man about the address of the place at Teshvikiye, and he showed him immediately. The mansion was on a quiet street, with a large yard. There were no guards at the entrance. On the right-hand side of the yard, there was a large Red Crescent Tent. He asked the orderly where he could find the Manager.

The manager was a short and stout man. He had a mustache. He was a Supplies Major. First, he didn’t pay attention to Jamil, and then he looked at him with interest. He was trying to figure out where he saw him before. Jamil thought he was familiar but didn’t say anything. “Are you Tosun?”

“Yes, Tosun Adapazari.”

“How is Maksood doing? I haven’t seen him in ages.”

“He is fine. He sends his regards.”

“Did you bring any bedding with you?”

“No, I don’t have any bedding.”

“Do you have any valuables? Gold, silver carpets, anything expensive?”

“No.”

“Do you have any medical condition that demands constant care?’’

“Like what?”

Then the door opened and a skinny fellow in his white Lab coat entered. He was holding a needle. “Lieutenant Colonel Hurshid doesn’t let me administer medication, Sir. It is like this every day. He is making my life miserable.”

Then Lieutenant Colonel Hurshid came in his pajamas. He looked very calm. He looked like a great man who was inconvenienced by ordinary people.

“Sir, I asked you not to cause any difficulty with the Staff. You promised me earlier.”

The Lieutenant Colonel didn’t listen to him. He turned to Jamil, and he checked him head to toe. The way he stared at him, Jamil thought that he must be wondering if Jamil was a friend or foe. His movements seemed uncoordinated. The way his arms and legs moved seemed uncontrolled. There was something wrong with him.

“Major, I am not causing any difficulty to the staff. I asked him if it was Neosalvan that he was administering to me. He said, ‘No, it is quinine’. I wanted him to swear on his Military Honour. That Turk wanted to deceive me. I told him, ‘I intend to talk to the Major, I don’t want Neosalvan. Go kill somebody else with that!’ He smiled. This is a shelter for us. I know that. We can’t carry our guns here. But before taking away our pistols remove those people out of here. They are insulting us; I am reporting his insults, Major.  Shame on you!”

He turned to Jamil, “I stayed four years at Saydi-basher Camp as a Prisoner of War. I was in the General’s section. The Britts were more respectful to us than here. You witnessed the situation. Shame on you, Major!”

“What is your rank?” he asked Jamil.

“Captain.”

“Captain who?”

“Captain Tosun!”

“Tosun…”He looked at the ceiling, he thought. “I don’t remember you. Were you and I ever together in a Batallion somewhere?” He didn’t wait for an answer and asked again, “In Iraq?”

“No, Sir!”

“I was with Suleiman Askeri. Suleiman died, and I was taken prisoner. I don’t think I was in good shape when I was taken prisoner. I was wounded in my head. I didn’t know who I was for seven months and nineteen days. I didn’t know my name, my place of birth, my birth date, or that I was an Albanian!  Do you understand?” He turned to the Manager. “Look.” He showed him a piece of newspaper clipping. “Neosalvan stops the syphilis. That’s correct but it has side effects. First of all...” He touched his head with his finger. “It affects the brain. I knew it. When they inject that medicine into me, I can’t sleep for days. I have bad dreams. I told you that. Maybe you haven’t believed me.”

“Lieutenant Colonel, of course, I believed you.”

“Maybe you didn’t believe me because you don’t have blood feuds like we have. I see myself poisoned in my dreams. This is a side effect. I asked you to fire that blond orderly. You didn’t listen to me!”

“I am going to fire him, Sir. I am looking for someone to replace him. You know how difficult it is to run this place.”

“I know, but I have my reasons to ask. Why didn’t he tell me that he was an Albanian as well? He should have let me know. You know as well as I that there are no blond Turks in Anatolia. Turks are not Arians. We are Arian. Thank God! I am not saying this. It is written in the scientific books!”

“Yes Sir! Of course. I know!”

“Mehmet Iskender is our enemy .He has wanted to poison me since the First Constitution Period. I’ve lived through being poisoned four times; twice in the Fronts and twice in the prisoner Camp. You have to change that orderly. Secondly; I do not want Neosalvarsan. I need my brains.” He put the newspaper clipping on the table. “You read it. You will understand!” He went away. Then he turned at the door. “When will I be promoted to the rank of Colonel? Didn’t they send the documents yet? It is OK. It will come one day!”

When he left the Orderly asked. “What are we going to do Major?”

“Sergeant, don’t worry about that. I will send him to the nuthouse as soon as there is an opening! I will phone them today. They will have to deal with him!”

When the medic left, he sighed and smiled at Jamil. He was tired and sad. Jamil realized what the question “Do you have any medical condition that requires constant care?” meant. He felt sad.

“Which room would you like? Do you like books?”

“Yes. It doesn’t matter what room!”

“Good. If you want to change later let me know.” He pressed the bell. A good-looking private entered. “Register Captain Tosun. We will place him in the higher ranks. He can stay in Naji’s room.”

They passed the rooms marked, ‘Pharmacy’, ‘Infirmary’, and ‘Depot’. This Section was separated from the mansion by glass. On the other side of the glass, there was an office. There wasn’t anyone inside. The private didn’t look happy, he said, “Where is that guy? He is never here. Please, Sir, you wait here and I’ll go find him!”

It was a large room. Four other rooms opened into it. There were large double stairs on one side.

When he lit his cigarette he heard some footsteps coming downstairs. A shirtless man came rushing down the stairs. He took the position of wrestling. Then five others came down after him. They were also half-naked. They screamed. “Hayda Bre!”

“Yes, wrestler. I am ready. Say your last Prayers.”

They had bare feet and they were wearing Officers’ pants with red stitches. They started wrestling right away. They were pushing each other around with all their might. Some residents opened the doors and started to watch. The place was filled with cheering.

“Hold him!”

“Twist! I said twist him! Break his back!”

“Not here. Go to the front yard. We can enjoy this better watching them in the front yard. Go out!”

One of the men who came to watch was a young blond guy who looked very young. He was holding his Quran closely to his chest as if it were a breakable object. He had a black prayer hat, slippers, and long johns on. First, he looked like he didn’t approve of wrestling here but then he started to watch with great interest like everyone else. He was swallowing hard and he looked like he was envying the wrestlers.

The blond private came back with a man with a black beard. They came to the office. The black bearded man didn’t look at the wrestlers but the private forgot about Jamil and rushed to watch them.

When Jamil approached the desk the man was grumpy. “They made it like a circus here. Shame on them! They are Officers!”

He was pushing the paper around and looking at them again. He had an Austrian Army uniform and the rank signs were missing. He had a German Iron Cross ribbon on the second buttonhole. He was talking crossly to Jamil without even looking at his face. “Your papers, please. Come on!”

“I don’t have any papers. They will send them in the evening.”

“You don’t have papers?” He was looking at him over his silver-framed glasses. He was looking at him quite surprised.  “Why did they send you here if you don’t have papers? We can’t do anything today. You have to come back with your papers again.”

“I talked to the Commander.”

“What did he say? Did he allow you to stay here without the papers?”

“Yes.”

He swore in German. His face turned red. “Do you have police clearance?”

“No.”

“This is impossible. We can’t do this. Wait a minute.”

He didn’t have a cartridge belt but by habit, he touched the imaginary belt.

There was an old pen and inkpot, and stamp set. There were some drawings and numbers on the paper on the wall. On the hangers, there was an Ottoman hat and an Austrian Army coat.

The black-bearded man returned. He was angrier than before. He registered Jamil in a notebook. He was acting as if he was doing a great favor. “You are a Captain yet we are putting you in the section for higher ranks. Naji will go over the rules with you. Try to follow the rules. If you have valuables, leave them at the Office and we will give you a receipt. You need bedding. You also have to buy towels, soap, slippers and a toothbrush and such. If you want to cook you have to wait for your turn in the kitchen. Some people try to cook in their rooms, but it is forbidden. Cooking fumes are not good for the health. It is your choice. We have been through so many wars and so many disasters; I wish we learned from the Germans. Wait, some people try to smuggle in their girlfriends dressed as men.”

“Please!”

“No. I didn’t mean you, but if you know such a thing, please let us know. Naji won’t do anything like that. But we have some fights here. It is not good. Sometimes things go missing. It is a shame. You know the Commander. I consider you as one of our Staff. You are a Captain but you have special treatment and have been accepted to the higher ranks section. If you see anything against the rules, let us know. Secretly.”

“What do you mean?”

“Please, let us know. It’s better for you. We won’t tell anyone where we got the information. Only you, myself, and the Commander will know.”

That grumpy man noticed the change in Jamil’s expression too late. But he acted normally and said, “You’ll understand later, Captain. Why did we lose that war? Because we allowed Madrasah-educated people to be Reserve Officers. They are used to that system, the soup kitchens, and all that. You will see what I mean! That’s all for today. Nice to meet you” He stretched his hand. “I am Major Mahmud Nedim, former Chief of the Intelligence Department.”

Jamil shook his hand. As he was leaving, the former Chief told him to wait. He pressed the bell. He ordered the private. “Take the Captain to Naji’s room! He needs a bed and he would like to get somebody to buy necessities for him.”

Jamil followed the soldier. There wasn’t anyone left at the parlor. The soldier showed him the stairs and said, “You go first. I will go to the Depot and join you upstairs right away.”

Jamil walked slowly, looking into the other rooms through their open doors.

The young blond Officer that he saw earlier was reciting the Quran. He was sitting on his knees. Three people were playing card games and one person was smoking. The beds were made. Some floor beds were wrapped and put off to the side next to the wall. Some had collapsible bedsteads.

In another room, some people were eating. One of them was cutting an onion, and two others were playing checkers. Jamil remembered what the Major had told him and realized this place was like the Madrasahs in Macedonia. They didn’t have adequate funds.

As he was going up the stairs, the private caught up with him. He was breathless. He told him, “Sergeant Riza has locked the depot and went away. He will come back. Too bad he is not here now. The beds are in the attic. It is difficult to carry them after dark. We can’t find a man to carry. Sergeant Riza will find you a bedstead since you are in the better section.” He lowered his voice, “Give him a tip. For the other things that you might need, I will buy them for you. Make a list. I know how to read.”

The room was divided by glass, one part for higher ranks. The other section was just downstairs. Someone was doing his laundry; he had a dirty shirt on. Another was building fire on a can, a makeshift stove. In one of the rooms, there was a Lieutenant who was missing one arm, he was painting. He was copying a Postcard.

Four doors were opening to the common room. In the middle, there was a runner on the floor. Between the doors, there was a marble Louis 15 Style table complete with a gilded mirror. The private went to the last door. “Naji Bey is a Lieutenant Colonel...His secretary is Lieutenant Selim...There is also Major Selim in this room but he is out right now” he informed Jamil and knocked on the door. He waited for the answer and opened the door. Then he let Jamil enter first.

There was one portable table, three portable bedsteads, three chests, and two cupboards full of books in the room. The young Lieutenant was sitting at the desk, with a lot of paper and pens in front of him. Lieutenant Colonel Naji was lying down on his bed and looking at the ceiling.

Jamil saluted the Lieutenant Colonel. “Sorry to bother you, Sir! I am Captain Tosun Adapazari.”

Naji sat up as if he was waiting for very important news.

“I will stay in this room with your permission, Sir”

Naji relaxed, “Welcome” He looked odd. He was listening not only with his ears but with his whole body.

“It is not with my permission.” He stretched out his hand. “Welcome, I am Lieutenant Colonel Naji.”

Jamil shook his hand and then the Lieutenants’ hand.

“Please, take a seat Captain. Selim, offer some cigarettes to the Captain!”

The private left the room saying that he would tell the Sergeant in charge of the Depot to come upstairs to see Jamil. When Naji fumbled to find his book using his hands, Jamil realized with horror that the young Lieutenant Colonel was blind.

“Tosun, if you do not like books, you are not in the right place.”

“I like books, Sir.”

“The others said the same thing. Selim, how many have left us?” Selim for the first time since Jamil entered the room, smiled. He was preoccupied. “Four left, Lieutenant Colonel.”

“Ismail will leave soon as well. He is yearning for an opportunity to leave. He doesn’t spend time here anymore. He leaves in the morning and returns in the night. He waits until we sleep, then he comes in the room.”

The Lieutenant didn’t smile often but Naji smiled a lot. He had a slim, perfectly shaped body. His face looked like a Greek Statue. His hazel eyes didn’t look like blind eyes but they looked sad. Naji asked him about the War Fronts that he had been in. Jamil thought about this before and decided not to mention Palestine, but when asked he had to think for a minute and changed his mind.

“Have you been to the Canal?”

“Yes.”

“You know General von Kress?

von Kress

“Yes.”

“That’s good!  Selim, we will ask the Captain’s help.”

“Yes, Sir”

“We have been writing some notes. Nothing important but it is better than just sitting here. Selim says he is not tired of writing! I don’t believe him. But if you notice that he is getting tired let me know please.”

“I don’t think so. He won’t get bored doing that.”

Jamil thought Selim would say something but he pretended not to hear. Naji didn’t care. “Do you know foreign languages? German or French?”

“No.”

“Can you read in those languages? You don’t have to understand the content. Can you just read the material?”

“I am sorry. I can’t read in German or French.”

“It is OK.”

Jamil looked at the books in the bookcase; most of them were in foreign languages.

“Will you excuse us? I want to finish this.”

“Please continue what you were doing. I could go out if you like.”

“No, please do take a seat. Listen until you get bored. Where were we?”

Jamil sat down. Selim got the papers and started to read in a flat voice, “Special number: 147, 15th Division Commander, Section 1.”

“Is that an Order? Is that written in Gumru? First Caucasian Army Corps Kazim Karabekir Pasha signed...”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Put it in the envelope number 4 please...”

Special number 148, Gumru, Ottoman and Armenian Republic Representatives meeting...”

“It is the Truce Agreement. Put it in the Political Documents file.”

Selim was working like a robot; his voice was so flat Jamil felt tired.

“Special number 149… Attach Order from Islamic Army Commander to 5^th Infantry Division… Summary.”

“Yes, read please.”

“10-11/09/1918 In the early hours of the morning I took the command of the fifth and 15 divisions of south group of the Army. This Army will attack Baku. I will advise the Attack date later.”

“Yes, General Nuri’s Order. Put it in the General Nuri File. Check the Special Number 150.  5^th Division Commander Suleiman Izzet’s Order Number 9. Let’s find it and attach it to the Army Order.” He looked towards Jamil’s direction as if he could see and said, “Would you like some coffee, Captain Tosun?”

Selim didn’t look like he was going to move and make the coffee. Jamil didn’t like this, “Well if you would like to have some coffee, I will join you.”

“Let’s have some. It is not tea time yet. How would you like your coffee? “

Lieutenant Selim stood and turned on the small alcohol heater which was on the chest. It was cloudy outside. The clouds suddenly covered the sunlight and it looked like evening dusk. Jamil felt unbearable boredom. In his hometown, in the city that he was born in, he turned into a homeless man. He wasn’t even an outcast, he was worse than that. He was a wanted criminal. He thought, “What am I going to do? I should take Neriman and go to Salihli. No, I can’t go there anymore. I should go to Chorum!”

“What are your thoughts on the situation in Izmir, Captain?”

Jamil tried to focus, “The situation in Izmir… I don’t know Sir. If it was only Greeks and us against each other ...”

“There is not ‘only two enemies fighting’ in this world anymore. They won’t let us. Were you in Palestine?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know Major Arif?”

“He was the Commander of 176 Regiment.  Arif Icerenkoy.”

“Yes.”

Lieutenant Selim Brought the coffee, he held Naji Bey’s hand and gave him the coffee cup.

“Have you made coffee for yourself as well, Lieutenant?” He hesitated. If Jamil was not there he would have lied. “No Sir, I don’t feel like it.”

“But you promised me. Try to get used to coffee. One should smoke, and enjoy coffee, and sometimes alcohol until it is forbidden by the doctor”

 Jamil liked the coffee. He wondered where Naji lost his eyesight. “Were you wounded at Caucasia, Sir?”

“Yes. One day short of the Truce. In fact, we didn’t know the Truce was signed that day. We went to Caucasia with the 15^th Division from Romania.”

“15^th Division? They were at the First Battle of Kithira in Gallipoli.”

“Were you there?”

“My battalion reached Gallipoli during the last days of the Battle of Kithira.”

“I was with the 55^th Division at Anafartalar. Our Commander...”

Selim cleared the cups and went back to sit at the desk. He was surprised at the darkness outside. He looked nervous and seemed annoyed that the papers were taken away and put back in a different place.

Naji didn’t finish his sentence. “Are we ready, Lieutenant?”

“Yes, Sir.  Special No: 151...Islamic Army Commander General Nuri ordered over the phone....”

“Which order?”

“The Regiment Commander who had captured enemy trenches without artillery fire by ambushing...”

“Next...”

“I appreciate the efforts of Major Naji....”

“I said leave that one.”

The Lieutenant was not paying attention. “....is recommended for promotion to Lieutenant Colonel. We wrote to the Defence Ministry concerning this...”

“I said enough, Lieutenant!”

Selim looked at him as if he was woken from his sleep. “Yes, Sir!”

“Put it in my personnel file. You are tired. Let’s leave it for today.”

“No, I am not tired. Special number: 152. Special password: No: 417(note) Eastern Armies Group Commander Halil Pasha visited. The Regiment is coming from Kara Kilise. Eastern Army Groups Cavalry Regiment joined to Islamic Army. If worse comes to worse we will enter in War against Germans.”

“Enough!”

Jamil was curious, “Sir was the situation in Caucasia really that bad towards at the end of the War?”

Naji smiled. He stroked the book that was resting on his knees like a child’s head and answered, “We try to illuminate that very question! The Germans at Caucasia were trying to get all the ethnicities to work against us. They wanted all the oil to themselves. In the heat of the war, at one point the Germans didn’t let the Ottoman troops use the Batum-Gence Railway. No troops, no vehicles, no food, and no ammunition, not even the army personnel who were returning from their leaves could pass. The local population didn’t bother helping us either.

There was another note there Lieutenant...I think number 239...Please read that...”

“Special Number: 239. The Actions of the enforced 10^th Caucasian Regiment and results:

The 28^th Batallion was enforced by two mountain cannons, as they were going to ambush the enemy, they were tricked. We lost two cannons.  The 39^th Batallion rushed to help the 28^th Batallion, but had great losses and had to go back. The 29^th Batallion came to their help by attacking the enemy. They too were going to be circled but survived. We lost 243 men including the Officers, two cannons, 41 pieces of ammunition, 116 rifles, and 155 bayonets.

18/06/1918 Caucasian Army of Islam Commander General Nuri together with Azerbaijani General Ali Sehlinksi gave a speech to the people of Gokchay, “The Ottoman Army came here to save the Azerbaijanis. You have to help this army. If you can’t help as a soldier then bring the Army food and water. The soldiers and Officers have died of thirst in this heat while fighting.”

Lieutenant Selim suddenly stood up. He was shaking violently. Jamil didn’t understand what happened to him. Selim said, “Did they die because of the heat at Caucasia? That’s not possible. It’s a lie. No...”His fists were tight. He was grinding his teeth with hate. His breathing quickened.

Naji sat up. Jamil was surprised. Selim bit his lower lip to suppress his crying and left the room. He banged the door. Naji was insulted by this gesture. It was like being hit in the face with your hands behind your back. “Did he leave?”

“Yes Sir. The Lieutenant left the room.”

“What happened?  I don’t understand. I should have thought about this before. He can’t work on this matter. He has been to Sarikamish. His nerves are not strong.”

There was a commotion outside. Naji perked up and listened. Then he exhaled. He was searching for something but was unable to find it. For this reason, he became angry.

“Are you looking for something, Colonel?”

“No...No...”His hands were shaking, he dropped the things on the nightstand then he was motionless for a while. Suddenly he was tired. He gave up. He felt hopeless. He said, “I dropped the cigarettes, didn’t I?”

Jamil took the package and gave him a cigarette. “No, it is here.”

“Thank you. Are you addicted to smoking as well?”

“Yes!”

“Have you noticed? Smoking at night, in the dark, doesn’t satisfy the addicts.”

“No, I haven’t noticed that.” In reality, Jamil knew that from the nights at the Fronts. “I didn’t pay attention to that.”

“It doesn’t satisfy the addicts.” He smiled like a little kid who was joking around. “The greatest strength of man is the ability to adapt. It is also his greatest weakness.” He stroked his face. “Some nights...not always...I will wake you up. I apologize in advance for that. I scream some nights. Don’t worry. I’m not in pain. I have dreams that my eyesight has recovered. I am screaming with happiness.”He smiled. “In the past, I had these dreams more frequently, now, not so often. I asked Ismail how I was screaming. He said it was as if I got hit in the stomach. I wonder why? At first, I didn’t realize that it was just a dream and got out of bed, knocked some things down, then lit a match.” He listened to the rain. “Please go and check on the Lieutenant, will you? Try to calm him.”

Jamil left immediately. Selim was looking out from the window. Jamil didn’t know what to say. It was raining cats and dogs. Downpour after downpour. Grey after grey. It looked like sheer curtains coming down one after another. The trees were hard to see. They couldn’t even see the iron gates of the mansion. Jamil thought the building would collapse under the rain. Selim calmed down. He was not there. He looked confused like he was taken by the aliens to another planet. He was humming a soldier song. Jamil knew the song;

“Let my blood flow through my shrouds

My red shrouds matching my red flag...”

Selim was humming the same two lines incessantly. Jamil offered him a cigarette He looked at it. It was like he had difficulty figuring out what it was. Then he took it without smiling. He was whispering as if he was telling him something top secret. “In Caucasia, you can’t die from the heat. It is impossible. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that the Colonel is lying.” He checked the door. “They are deceiving him because he can’t see.” He put his index finger on his chest; “I have been at Sarikamish. I know. The Koprukoy Battle started on 06/11/1914. It lasted six days. It was a Friday. We were supposed to attend to Friday Prayers. But we had to fight. For a Muslim man, the first duty is to defend one's country. It is better than going to the mosque.  The enemy receded. They resisted. The action started on November 14^th. From Saturday to Wednesday, we fought four days and four nights nonstop. It is called the Azapkoy Battle. We defeated them. However, General Hasan Izzed, the Third Army Commander, didn’t realize that we had won the battle. If he realized that, we could have saved Tooran! Deputy Commander in Chief Enver Pasha came to Koprukoy on November 14^th. He inspected the Army. I had two warm wool undershirts, an Officer’s Jacket, and an overcoat on. I was trembling whereas Enver Pasha only had his jacket on. He didn’t feel the cold. He was Superman. He didn’t get affected by nature like ordinary people. He said “You are cold, you are hungry, and I have neither extra clothes nor food to give to you. But I can show you how to get them. Whatever you need the enemy has all these. You go and get them. Not only clothes and food, but you will gain the highest honor. It will be a greater victory than the Battles of Nigbolu, Chaldiran, and Mohacs. He was talking from higher ground. He was calm. I was looking at him from a lower place. I never saw someone more handsome, stronger, and intelligent than him.  You had to believe him there. How can you not? You had to be a traitor not to believe him. The only person who didn’t agree with him was General Hasan Izzed. Enver Pasha got the Command of the Army personally himself. We went to Aras on December 21^st. The Battle of Sarikamish started on the 22nd. It lasted 25 days. The Deputy Commander in Chief was leading our Army Corps.  That’s why the enemy advanced and circled the 9th Regiment. However, we continued our advance. They said we couldn’t reach Sarikamish. That’s a lie. The 10^th Army Corps had 33 thousand men. In the end, we were left with 33 men. It was alright. 33 Turks is enough!”  He stroked his face. He raised his fist.  “Sarikamish was very close. The Commander wanted us to get Sarikamish. He wanted us to recapture Sarikamish without destroying it. If he ordered us to crush the town I would have crushed it with my fist.”

He looked like he had a sudden debilitating pain in his stomach. He put his hands on his stomach. His face showed his pain. “We entered Sarikamish twice. The first time the enemy sent us back. We went in with 70 people and went back with 34. Reserve Officer Kazim Iskilip, myself, and three other Lieutenants were present. We knew we didn’t have enough men left. Someone said, “There is no point in trying again.” Kazim said, “We have to try again. It is the Commander’s Order!” It stopped snowing. It was all icy. The sky filled with stars. It looked like daytime. Kazim stood in front of us and stopped us from leaving. We came together to attack one more time. Kazim was walking ahead of us. He said, “Let’s go!” Then we noticed some movement ahead of us. Kazim asked, “Who is there?”

A commander came out of the bush wearing an overcoat. He asked Kazim who he was. Kazim stood to attention and told him his name. The Commander asked him where he was running to. Kazim told him he was running to catch the deserters. The Commander checked his surroundings and saw us. He motioned for us to approach. We went. He said, “I am the commander, I order you to execute him!” We were frozen. We were like lifeless statues at that moment. A man who was with him told him something that we didn’t hear. He got mad. He cried, “Execute!” Some other guy came from his position and took Kazim away. He smashed him into a tree. He took away his rifle. He aimed the rifle at us. We got scared. We obeyed. We took a position in front of Kazim. The Commander in the Overcoat ordered, ‘Fire!’ We executed Kazim.” Selim covered his face with his hands. “Didn’t I think about shooting the guy in the overcoat instead of Kazim? Yes, I thought about that. I couldn’t do it. Turks obey the Commander! Kazim fell on his knees and fell on the snow on his face. We 33 men attacked Sarikamish once again under that Commander wearing the overcoat. Sarikamish answered with fire. All the bullets were coming towards us from all directions like the bullets were coming from the ground. I don’t know how we entered the city, how we came out alive when we went back. God only knows… I thought about Kazim. I got my rifle and went to find the Deputy Commander in Chief!” He raised his index finger. “They said he fled! That’s a lie. Our leader didn’t flee! He is waiting for us at the opening of the passage of Tooran. I will get permission from the Colonel to go and find him. I will tell him, ‘They killed Kazim for no reason! Kazim only wanted to fight under your Command. ‘I will find the Commander wearing the Great Coat and grab him by the neck!”

It was still raining. The residents of the Army Officer’s Shelter were returning from their outings. They were the most miserable members of the defeated Ottoman Army. Some lost their arms and put the sleeves of their jackets in their pockets. Some lost their legs and were using crutches. Some only had one good eye, they were leading the blind. Some had involuntary movements, some were crying, some were laughing, and some were giving orders to attack.

Jamil wondered where he could go. Rumeli was lost a long time ago. Anatolia was unknown. The east of Istanbul after Suadiye Station felt like the world ended there…only darkness. He felt scared for the first time since he put on the military uniform as an 11-year-old boy.

The noise level increased in the mansion. Jamil offered another cigarette to Selim. He was surprised. He looked at the packet, and then at Jamil. They didn’t hear that someone was coming upstairs. They heard a proud thick voice.

“Selim…Son, I am all wet. It rained a lot. Jamil turned towards him. “Wait a minute! Who is that? Oh! It is Jamil!  Jehennem! Welcome brother!”

“Oh!  Ismail!”

Jamil saw his classmate Cavalry Major Ismail Uskup. He ran to hug him. Ismail supported his big body on the crutches and opened his arms. Jamil stopped in his tracks when he noticed that he lost his left leg. There was a wooden stick under his knee. “Come on! Don’t be surprised. There is no difference between two legs and one and a half leg. Did you come to see me? How did you know? Did Maksood tell you?” Jamil held him by the shoulders. “My brother, I am sorry. I hadn’t heard that you were injured. I hope you are feeling well. What happened? Where did you get wounded?”

“Never mind! Let me see you! Good! You are fine. Jehennem, you came out of this war all in one peace. Good for you!”

He gave the packets that he was holding to Selim. He said, “Take this Selim. How is Naji? Did he get to the bottom of all his paperwork yet? Did he solve all the mysteries?  How was your day? Good thing you met Captain Jamil! He knows the Commander who ordered Kazim’s death!”

Selim looked at Jamil with interest. His voice was trembling. “Is that true Captain? Do you know him? What is his name?”

Jamil tried not to look at Selim. He looked at Ismail with despair. Ismail pushed his index finger to Salim’s chest. “Tell him, Jamil, there is only one commander. The one with and without the greatcoat was our boy Enver! They are the same. Tell him so he knows!”

Enver Pasha