A six year old wearing a neat white blouse and pink shorts and white stockings came to the hairdresser with her mom. Mom got her nice crayons and little notepad. She wanted to write something on her new notebook. She didn,t know how to write yet. Mom said she would write stg to Ebru- the hairdresser in her stead. She wrote “Dear Ebru, I Love You” and drew a heart.
Then the little girl came to me and showed me the notebook. She said ‘Look What I had written!” Her mom said I wrote that as if I hadn’t seen that.
For a while Seçil was busy with her little notebook. And said to her mom “Why are you fighting with my dad?
-“Your dad?”
The mother looked ashamed and told her daughter that she shouldn't talk about such matters in public.
-But you are always fighting. I donüt want you to fight with my dad!”
- He is rude.
The woman started to talk to herself- may be to herself, may be to her daughter or may be to me.
She was saying that the husband was accusing her of cheating on him. She said she didn't do any such thing and she was not going to tolerate such talk. This time she was going to divorce him for sure. She knew a lawyer to help her out. Her family was doing OK. They would help her.
This was husband number two. This young woman of 35 had four children. Two from each man. The husband number one and two were friends with one another and it turns out both of them had been in jail previously.
Number two was jealous of number one.
She said she talked to the social services and they assured her that she can talk to the father of her two older children and it is not a crime nor is it considered cheating. She was going to social service to take advice and taking her oldest daughter to a psychologist as well.
Things were complicated and no matter what the social services were saying, husband number two was jealous.
Husband number one assured the current husband that he is not that kind of a guy, he won’t bother a married woman even though wife got involved with this guy while she was still married to the first one.
Hair dresser came from the other room. Young Woman said to her I am getting a divorce
- Good for you!
Then she said "let me style your hair" even though I was there first but I understood she wasn't able to bear to listen to her again today since this customer was a regular. She made a habit of getting her hair done and getting therapy from the hairdresser all at the same time.
I understood well to save all our ears and the little girl's. It was best to get her hair done quickly and let her go shopping as usual because earlier she had explained to me that she was getting clothes and her oldest was wearing them. Once someone else- even if she was her own daughter- wears her clothes she wouldn’t wear them herself again.
I asked her what her husband was doing for work, she moved her head indicating the street and said that he was a food vendor. She said she bought the cart for him but she made the purchase in the name of her sister just in case they get a divorce. She was being careful with the purchases making sure she has evidence of purchase in her name, in case he claims anything from her. She said she was supporting the children and husband didn't support them and they were sleeping in separate bedrooms.
She said that was not right.
All this talk as I was trying to occupy the little girl by asking her to draw something. She was drawing and she was so proud of her drawings while still listening to mom and trying to read her emotions.
The mother asked me if I was a teacher. I said "no". I was a lawyer but living in another country. She said she wanted one of her children to be a lawyer but the oldest wanted to be a hairdresser and came to this place to help Ebru and learn something on the trade.
The woman mentioned that her husband slapped her across the face and that was not right. "Men shouldn't be rude toward women." She added. And the little girl repeated these in her own words.
I said "your mom is a clever woman she will find a solution to her problems, not to worry"
Mom went to the other room to get her hair done and daughter started to play on her moms phone. Some robot game that she was playing with other children.
She heard her moms voice crying. I asked her if she knew Sesame Street. She said she didn’t.
I tried to find a youtube video on my phone but it didn't work because the phone needed upgrading. She told me not to cry, it will be OK.
Then came to me, got my phone to activate the voice search and told the phone to find the Robot game that she was playing. She thought if we could get that game then we could get Sesame Street as well.
I said not that won't work and I didn't want that Robot game on my phone.
She gave me her drawing saying she drew this picture for me.
Then her mom’s phone rang. She said she didn't know who it was and showed me the phone. It read “Dear Sister”. When she heard this she declined the call and informed me that she didn't like her aunt. Because she wanted to play with the baby and her aunt said “no.”
Then she explained to me that it is natural for her to want to play with the baby and her aunt was so wicked that she was saying "no". And the aunt was saying İt was her baby. Little girl thought it was her sister.
It wasn’t clear to me who the baby belonged. Was that little girl’s sister or cousin? But anyway...
Luckily mom’s hair styling finished soon and she came back to the room feeling relatively better. She was wearing black tight jeans and a striped t-shirt. The t-shirt was not covering her belly and a little skin was showing. This bothered her. (That she explained to me earlier on the topic of her daughter wearing her clothes.)
She bought the striped t-shirt because it is the style now but it made her uncomfortable. Besides, she had surgery recently and the jeans were too tight on the waist and she needed to change her clothes. Luckily she had just bought some clothes so she asked the hairdresser if she could change somewhere.
Hairdresser said "sure". She changed into black stretch pants and black sleeveless shirt. She said she needed to go out and walk a bit with her daughter and bid us farewell.
