Where to go?

May 1919

He was feeling this way not because he was wanted by the police but he was for the first time in his life independent. He didn’t have any attachments. He didn’t belong anywhere. Maybe both Maksood and Rajab forgot about him and were telling each other dirty jokes. He wondered where he would be most happy at this moment. He was surprised that his first thought was not being by Neriman’s side. He thought about the Mansion he stayed at in Caddebostan with his friends. He lived there like a prisoner yet he thought about there first. He wondered if he didn’t love Neriman. He asked himself. “Didn’t I love her for so many years?”

When he noticed Rajab coming from the direction of Sultanahmet, through the gate by the fountain, he wasn’t happy. He stood up to greet him. Rajab said, “I am sorry, I am late. It is not my fault. That stupid guy was after me.”

“Who?”

“The new assistant of Maksood. Maksood said that he wanted to fire bullets in his stomach.”

“Is there any news from Patriot?”

“Yes, there is. He is doing all right. They are at Bekiraga Prison. The English were respectful to Halil Pasha. They are OK.”

“Dr. Munir?

“Munir was arrested as well but he will be released soon. Patriot and Halil Pasha told them that they were at the house for medical check-ups.”

“’Why did they raid the house?”

“The neighbor’s Greek gardener informed them”

“Did Arab tell you anything about my house?”

“Yes, he told me that your family asked for the Muhtar. Yahya Hodja came to their help. When they couldn’t find you at the house, the Officers were disappointed. Hodja told them it was inappropriate to search a house based on what a child said, and they shouldn’t listen to the likes of the Grocer Haji. Maksood said that your family is doing fine.”

He was searching his pockets for something as he was talking. He gave Jamil ten Liras. “Maksood sent you this money and he said he will send you some more if you need some. And that’s the paper...”

“What is that?”

“We thought you should go to the Army Retired Personnel Lodge. That’s the best place for you right now!”

“Where is that lodge?”

“It is located at Teshvikiye. You will look for ‘Sherif Pasha Mansion’. Maksood asked the Istanbul Guards’ Commanders’ Office to issue you an identity card for you.  Captain Tosun.”

“What?”

“You are not a gunner anymore and your name is not Captain Jamil. You were given a new identity as a Cavalry Officer. You will be staying there for 25 qurush a night.”

“25 qurush?”

“There is another section cheaper for fifteen qurush for lower ranks. You are going to stay with the Majors.”

“Does that include the meal? Because if it does then I would stay there as long as I live.”

“No, it is not included, you can cook your own food or you can go out to eat. Maksood said you should be careful. He will also call the Manager of the Lodge. If there were any searches, he will let you know beforehand. Maksood said you have to put up with boredom for a couple of days. There is no other way. This is a good solution for now. He is hoping to find another place for you soon. He said you shouldn’t go out in the daytime. He will let you know when you can go home to see your family. I think you should go through the park gates and take a tramway to Teshvikiye right away. Damn that Gardener! If you hear some Greek gardener around Erenkoy is dead these days… You will know who shot him!”

“There will be some people who might know me. They will ask, ‘how come ‘Jehennem’ became ‘Tosun’’?”

“Don’t worry, most of the residents are Reserve Officers from Madrasah; and the ones who know you, will keep quiet.”

Rajab winked but he wasn’t in a happy mood.

Jamil asked a man about the address of the place at Tesvikiye, he showed him immediately. The mansion was on a quiet street, in a large yard. There were no guards at the entrance. On the right hand side of the yard there was a large Red Crescent Tent. He asked the orderly where he can find the Manager.

The manager was a short and stout man. He had a moustache. He was a Supplies Major. First he didn’t pay attention to Jamil, and then he looked at him with interest. He was trying to figure out where he saw him before. Jamil thought he was familiar but didn’t say anything. “Are you Tosun?”

“Yes, Tosun Adapazari.”

“How is Maksood doing? I haven’t seen him in ages.”

“He is fine. He sends his regards.”

“Did you bring any bedding with you?”

“No, I don’t have any bedding.”

“Do you have any valuables? Gold, silver carpets, anything expensive?”

“No.”

“Do you have any medical condition that demands constant care?’’

“Like what?”

Then the door opened and a skinny fellow in his white Lab coat entered. He was holding a needle. “Lieutenant Colonel Hurshid doesn’t let me administer medication, Sir. It is like this every day. He is making my life miserable.”

Then Lieutenant Colonel Hurshid came in his pyjamas. He looked very calm. He looked like a great man who was inconvenienced by ordinary people.

“Sir, I asked you not to cause any difficulty with the Staff. You promised me earlier.”

The Lieutenant Colonel didn’t listen to him. He turned to Jamil, and he checked him head to toe. The way he stared at him, Jamil thought that he must be wondering if Jamil was friend or foe. His movements seemed uncoordinated. The way his arms and legs moved seemed uncontrolled. There was something wrong with him.

“Major, I am not causing any difficulty to the staff. I asked him if it was Neosalvan that he was administering to me. He said, ‘No, it is quinine’. I wanted him to swear on his Military Honour. That Turk, wanted to deceive me. I told him, ‘I intend to talk to the Major, I don’t want Salvarsan. Go kill somebody else with that!’ He smiled. This is a shelter for us. I know that. We can’t carry our guns here. But before taking away our pistols remove those people out of here. They are insulting us; I am reporting his insults, Major.  Shame on you!”

He turned to Jamil, “I stayed four years at Seydibasher Camp as a Prisoner of War. I was at the General’s section. The Britt’s were more respectful to us then here. You witnessed the situation. Shame on you, Major!”

“What is your rank?” he asked Jamil.

“Captain.”

“Captain who?”

“Captain Tosun!”

“Tosun…”He looked at the ceiling, he thought. “I don’t remember you. Were you and I ever together in a Batallion somewhere?” He didn’t wait for an answer and asked again, “In Iraq?”

“No, Sir!”

“I was with Suleiman Askeri. Suleiman died, I was taken prisoner. I don’t think I was in a good shape when I was taken prisoner. I was wounded from my head. I didn’t know who I was for seven months and nineteen days. I didn’t know my name, my place of birth, my birth date, or that I was an Albanian!  Do you understand?” He turned to the Manager. “Look.” He showed him a piece of a newspaper clipping. “Neosalvan stops the syphilis. That’s correct but it has side effects. First of all...” He touched his head with his finger. “It affects the brain. I knew it. When they inject that medicine in me, I can’t sleep for days. I have bad dreams. I told you that. Maybe you haven’t believed me.”

“Lieutenant Colonel, of course I believed you.”

“Maybe you didn’t believe me because you don’t have blood feuds like we have. I see myself poisoned in my dreams. This is a side effect. I asked you to fire that blond orderly. You didn’t listen to me!”

“I am going to fire him, Sir. I am looking for someone to replace him. You know how difficult it is to run this place.”

“I know, but I have my reasons to ask. Why didn’t he tell me that he was an Albanian as well? He should have let me know. You know as well as I that there are no blond Turks in Anatolia. Turks are not Arian. We are Arian. Thank God! I am not saying this. It is written in the scientific books!”

“Yes Sir! Of course. I know!”

“Mehmet Iskender is our enemy .He has wanted to poison me since the First Constitution Period. I’ve lived through being poisoned four times; twice in the Fronts and twice in the prisoner Camp. You have to change that orderly. Secondly; I do not want Neosalvarsan. I need my brains.” He put the newspaper clipping on the table. “You read it. You will understand!” He went away. Then he turned at the door. “When will I be promoted to the rank of Colonel? Didn’t they send the documents yet? It is OK. It will come one day!”

When he left the Orderly asked. “What are we going to do Major?”

“Sergeant, don’t worry about that. I will send him to the nuthouse as soon as there is an opening! I will phone them today. They will have to deal with him!”

When the medic left, he sighed and smiled at Jamil. He was tired and sad. Jamil realized what the question “Do you have any medical condition that requires constant care?”meant. He felt sad.

“Which room would you like? Do you like books?”

“Yes. It doesn’t matter what room!”

“Good. If you want to change later let me know.” He pressed the bell. A good looking private entered. “Register Captain Tosun. We will place him with the higher ranks. He can stay at Naji’s room.”

They passed the rooms marked, ‘Pharmacy’, ‘Infirmary’, and ‘Depot’. This Section was separated from the mansion by glass. On the other side of the glass there was an office. There wasn’t anyone inside. The private didn’t look happy, he said, “Where is that guy? He is never here. Please Sir, you wait here and I’ll go find him!”

It was a large room. Four other rooms opened into it. There were large double stairs on one side.

When he lit his cigarette he heard some footsteps coming downstairs. A shirtless man came rushing down the stairs. He took the position for wrestling. Then five others came down after him. They were also half naked. They screamed. “Hoyda Bre!”

“Yes, wrestler. I am ready. Say your last Prayers.”

They had bare feet and they were wearing Officers’ pants with red stitches. They started wrestling right away. They were pushing each other around with all their might. Some residents opened the doors and started to watch. The place filled with cheering.

“Hold him!”

“Twist!” I said “twist him! Break his back!”

“Not here. Go to the front yard. We can enjoy this better watching them in the front yard. Go out!”

One of the men who came to watch was a young blond guy who looked very young. He was holding his Quran closely to his chest as if it was a breakable object. He had a black prayer hat, slippers, and long johns on. First, he looked like he didn’t approve of wrestling here but then he started to watch with great interest like everyone else. He was swallowing hard and he looked like he was envying the wrestlers.

The blond private came back with a man with a black beard. They came to the office. The black bearded man didn’t look at the wrestlers but the private forgot about Jamil and rushed to watch them.

When Jamil approached the desk the man was grumpy. “They made it look like a circus here. Shame on them! They are Officers!”

He was pushing the paper around and looking at them again. He had an Austrian Army uniform and the rank signs were missing. He had a German Iron cross ribbon on the second button hole. He was talking crossly to Jamil without even looking at his face. “Your papers, please. Come on!”

“I don’t have any papers. They will send them in the evening.”

“You don’t have papers?” He was looking at him over his silver framed glasses. He was looking at him quite surprised.  “Why did they send you here if you don’t have papers? We can’t do anything today. You have to come back with your papers again.”

“I talked to the Commander.”

“What did he say? Did he allow you to stay here without the papers?”

“Yes.”

He swore in German. His face turned red. “Do you have police clearance?”

“No.”

“This is impossible. We can’t do this. Wait a minute.”

He didn’t have a cartridge belt but by habit he touched the imaginary belt.

There was an old pen and inkpot, and stamp set. There were some drawings and numbers on the paper on the wall. On the hangers there was an Ottoman hat and Austrian Army coat.

The black bearded man returned. He was angrier than before. He registered Jamil in a notebook. He was acting as if he was doing a great favor. “You are a Captain yet we are putting you in the section for higher ranks. Naji will go over the rules with you. Try to follow the rules. If you have valuables, leave them at the Office and we will give you a receipt. You need bedding. You also have to buy towels, soap, slippers and toothbrush and such. If you want to cook you have to wait for your turn in the kitchen. Some people try to cook in their rooms, but it is forbidden. Cooking fumes are not good for the health. It is your choice. We have been through so many wars and so many disasters; I wish we learned from the Germans. Wait, some people try to smuggle in their girlfriends dressed as men.”

“Please!”

“No. I didn’t mean you, but if you know such a thing, please let us know. Naji won’t do anything like that. But we have some fights here. It is not good. Sometimes things go missing. It is a shame. You know the Commander. I consider you as one of our Staff. You are a Captain but you have special treatment and have been accepted the higher ranks section. If you see anything against the rules, let us know. Secretly.”

“What do you mean?”

“Please, let us know. It’s better for you. We won’t tell anyone where we got the information. Only you, myself and the Commander will know.”

That grumpy man noticed the change in Jamil’s expression too late. But he acted normally and said, “You’ll understand later, Captain. Why did we lose that war? Because we allowed Madrasah educated people to be Reserve Officers. They are used to that system, the soup kitchens and all that. You will see what I mean! That’s all for today. Nice to meet you.” He stretched his hand. “I am Major Mahmud Nedim, former Chief of the Intelligence Department.”

Jamil shook his hand. As he was leaving, the former Chief told him to wait. He pressed the bell. He ordered the private. “Take the Captain to Naji’s room! He needs a bed and he would like to get somebody to buy necessities for him.”

Jamil followed the soldier. There wasn’t anyone left at the parlour. The soldier showed him the stairs and said, “You go first. I will go to the Depot and join you upstairs right away.”

Jamil walked slowly, looking in to the other rooms through their open doors.

The young blond Officer that he saw earlier was reciting the Koran. He was sitting on his knees. Three people were playing card games and one person was smoking. The beds were made. Some floor beds were wrapped and put off to the side next to the wall. Some had collapsible bedsteads.

In another room some people were eating. One of them was cutting an onion, and two others were playing checkers. Jamil remembered what the Major had told him and realized this place was like the Madrasahs in Macedonia. They didn’t have adequate funds.

As he was going up the stairs, the private caught up with him. He was breathless. He told him, “Sergeant Riza has locked the depot and went away. He will come back. Too bad he is not here now. The beds are in the attic. It is difficult to carry them after dark. We can’t find a man to carry. Sergeant Riza will find you a bedstead since you are in the better section.” He lowered his voice, “Give him a tip. The other things that you might need, I will buy them for you. Make a list. I know how to read.”

The room was divided by glass, one part for higher ranks. The other section was just like downstairs. Someone was doing his laundry; he had a dirty shirt on. Another was building fire on a can, a makeshift stove. In one of the rooms there was a Lieutenant who was missing one arm, he was painting. He was copying a Post card.

There were four doors opening to the common room. In the middle there was a runner on the floor. Between the doors there was a marble Louis 15 Style table complete with gilded mirror. The private went to the last door. “Naji Bey is a Lieutenant Colonel...His secretary is Lieutenant Selim...There is also Major Selim in this room but he is out right now” he informed Jamil and knocked on the door. He waited for the answer and open the door. Then he let Jamil enter first.

There was one portable table, three portable bedsteads, three chests, and two cupboards full of books in the room. The young Lieutenant was sitting at the desk, with a lot of paper and pens in front of him. Lieutenant Colonel Naji was lying down on his bed and looking at the ceiling.

Jamil saluted the Lieutenant Colonel. “Sorry to bother you Sir! I am Captain Tosun Adapazari.”

Naji sat up as if he was waiting for very important news.

“I will stay in this room with your permission, Sir”

Naji relaxed, “Welcome” He looked odd. He was listening not only with his ears but with his whole body.

“It is not with my permission.”He stretched out his hand. “Welcome, I am Lieutenant Colonel Naji.”

Jamil shook his hand and then the Lieutenants’ hand.

“Please, take a seat Captain. Selim, offer some cigarettes to the Captain!”

The private left the room saying that he would tell the Sergeant in charge of the Depot to come upstairs to see Jamil. When Naji fumbled to find his book using his hands, Jamil realized with horror that the young Lieutenant Colonel was blind.

“Tosun, if you do not like books, you are not in the right place.”

“I like books, Sir.”

“The others said the same thing. Selim, how many have left us?”Selim for the first time since Jamil entered the room, smiled. He was preoccupied. “Four left, Lieutenant Colonel.”

“Ismail will leave soon as well. He is yearning for an opportunity to leave. He doesn’t spend time here anymore. He leaves in the morning and returns in the night. He waits until we sleep, then he comes in the room.”

The Lieutenant didn’t smile often but Naji smiled a lot. He had a slim, perfectly shaped body. His face looked like a Greek Statue. His hazel eyes didn’t look like blind eyes but they looked sad. Naji asked him about the War Fronts that he had been in. Jamil thought about this before and decided not to mention Palestine; but when asked he had to think for a minute and changed his mind.

“Have you been to the Canal?”

“Yes.”

“You know General von Kress?

“Yes.”

“That’s good!  Selim, we will ask the Captain’s help.”

“Yes, Sir”

“We have been writing some notes. Nothing important but it is better than just sitting here. Selim says he is not tired of writing! I don’t believe him. But if you notice that he is getting tired let me know please.”

“I don’t think so. He won’t get bored doing that.”

Jamil thought Selim would say something but he pretended not to hear. Naji didn’t care. “Do you know foreign languages? German or French?”

“No.”

“Can you read in those languages? You don’t have to understand the content. Can you just read the material?”

“I am sorry. I can’t read in German or French.”

“It is OK.”

Jamil looked at the books in the bookcase; most of them were in foreign languages.

“Will you excuse us? I want to finish this.”

“Please continue what you were doing .I could go out if you like.”

“No, please do take a seat. Listen until you get bored. Where were we?”

Jamil sat down. Selim got the papers and started to read in a flat voice, “Special number: 147, 15th Division Commander, Section 1.”

“Is that an Order? Is that written in Gumru? First Caucasian Army Corps Kazim Karabekir Pasha signed...”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Put it in the Envelop number 4 please...”

Special number 148, Gumru, Ottoman and Armenian Republic Representatives meeting...”

“It is the Truce Aggreement. Put it in the Political Documents file.”

Selim was working like a robot; his voice was so flat Jamil felt tired.

“Special number 149… Attach Order from Islamic Army Commander to 5^th Infantry Division… Summary.”

“Yes, read please.”

“10-11/09/1918 In the early hours of morning I took the command of fifth and 15 divisions of south group of the Army. This Army will attack Baku. I will advise the Attack date later.”

“Yes, General Nuri’s Order. Put it in General Nuri File. Check the Special Number 150.  5^th Division Commander Suleiman Izzet’s Order Number 9. Let’s find it and attach to the Army Order.” He looked towards Jamil’s direction as if he could see and said, “Would you like some coffee Captain Tosun?”

Selim didn’t look like he was going to move and make the coffee. Jamil didn’t like this, “Well if you would like to have some coffee, I will join you.”

“Let’s have some. It is not tea time yet. How would you like your coffee? “

Lieutenant Selim stood and turned on the small alcohol heater which was on the chest. It was cloudy outside. The clouds suddenly covered the sunlight and it looked like evening dusk. Jamil felt unbearable boredom. In his hometown, in the city that he was born in, he turned into a homeless man. He wasn’t even an outcast, he was worse than that. He was a wanted criminal. He thought, “What am I going to do? I should take Neriman and go to Salihli. No, I can’t go there anymore. I should go to Chorum!”

“What are your thoughts on the situation in Izmir, Captain?”

Jamil tried to focus, “The situation in Izmir… I don’t know Sir. If it was only Greeks and us against each other ...”

“There is not ‘only two enemies fighting’ in this world anymore. They won’t let us. Were you at Palestine?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know Major Arif?”

“He was the Commander of 176 Regiment.  Arif Icerenkoy.”

“Yes.”

Lieutenant Selim brought the coffee; he held Naji Bey’s hand and gave him the coffee cup.

“Have you made coffee for yourself as well, Lieutenant?”He hesitated. If Jamil was not there he would have lied. “No Sir, I don’t feel like it.”

“But you promised me. Try to get used to coffee. One should smoke, and enjoy coffee, and sometimes alcohol until it is forbidden by the doctor”

 Jamil liked the coffee. He wondered where Naji lost his eye sight. “Were you wounded at Caucasia, Sir?”

“Yes. One day short of the Truce. In fact we didn’t know the Truce was signed that day. We went to Caucasia with the 15^th Division from Romania.”

“15^th Division? They were at the First Battle of Kithira in Gallipoli.”

“Were you there?”

“My battalion reached Gallipoli during the last days of the Battle of Kithira.”

“I was with the 55^th Division at Anafartalar. Our Commander...”

Selim cleared the cups and went back to sit at the desk. He was surprised at the darkness outside. He looked nervous and seemed annoyed that the papers were taken away and put back in a different place.

Naji didn’t finish his sentence. “Are we ready, Lieutenant?”

“Yes, Sir.  Special No: 151...Islamic Army Commander General Nuri ordered over the phone....”

“Which order?”

“The Regiment Commander who had captured enemy trenches without artillery fire by ambushing...”

“Next...”

“I appreciate the efforts of Major Naji....”

“I said leave that one.”

The Lieutenant was not paying attention. “....is recommended for promotion to Lieutenant Colonel. We wrote to the Defence Ministry concerning this...”

“I said enough, Lieutenant!”

Selim looked at him as if he was woken from his sleep. “Yes, Sir!”

“Put it in my personnel file. You are tired. Let’s leave it for today.”

“No, I am not tired. Special number: 152. Special password: No: 417(note) Eastern Armies Group Commander Halil Pasha visited. The Regiment is coming from Kara Kilise. Eastern Army Groups Cavalry Regiment joined to Islamic Army. If worse comes to worse we will enter in War against Germans.”

“Enough!”

Kaiser Willian in Galipolli

Jamil was curious, “Sir was the situation in Caucasia really that bad towards at the end of the War?”

Naji smiled. He stroked the book that was resting in his knees like a child’s head and answered, “We try to illuminate that very question! The Germans at Caucasia were trying to get all the ethnicities to work against us. They wanted all the oil to themselves. In the heat of the war, at one point the Germans didn’t let the Ottoman troops use the Batum-Gence Railway. No troops, no vehicles, no food, and no ammunition, not even the army personnel who were returning from their leaves could pass. The local population didn’t bother helping us either.

There was another note there Lieutenant...I think number 239...Please read that...”

“Special Number: 239. The Actions of the enforced 10^th Caucasian Regiment and results:

The 28^th Batallion was enforced by two mountain cannons, as they were going to ambush the enemy, they were tricked. We lost two cannons.  The 39^th Batallion rushed to help the 28^th Batallion, but had great losses and had to go back. The 29^th Batallion came to their help by attacking the enemy. They too were going to be circled, but survived. We lost 243 men including the Officers, two cannons, and 41 pieces of ammunition, 116 rifles and 155 bayonets.

18/06/1918 Caucasian Army of Islam Commander General Nuri together with Azerbaijani General Ali Sehlinksi gave a speech to the people of Gokchay, “The Ottoman Army came here to save the Azerbaijanis. You have to help this army. If you can’t help as a soldier than bring the Army food and water. The soldiers and Officers have died of thirst in this heat while fighting.”

Lieutenant Selim suddenly stood up. He was shaking violently. Jamil didn’t understand what happened to him. Selim said, “Did they die because of the heat at Caucasia? That’s not possible. It’s a lie. No...”His fists were tight. He was grinding his teeth with hate. His breathing quickened.

Naji sat up. Jamil was surprised. Selim bit his lower lip to suppress his crying and left the room. He banged the door. Naji was insulted at this gesture. It was like being hit in the face with your hands behind your back. “Did he leave?”

“Yes Sir. The Lieutenant left the room.”

“What happened?  I don’t understand. I should have thought about this before. He can’t work on this matter. He has been to Sarikamish. His nerves are not strong.”

There was a commotion outside. Naji perked up and listened. Then he exhaled. He was searching for something, but unable to find it. For this reason he became angry.

“Are you looking for something, Colonel?”

“No...no...”His hands were shaking, he dropped the things on the night stand then he was motionless for a while. Suddenly he was tired. He gave up. He felt hopeless. He said, “I dropped the cigarettes, didn’t I?”

Jamil took the package and gave him a cigarette. “No, it is here.”

“Thank you. Are you addicted to smoking as well?”

“Yes!”

“Have you noticed? Smoking at night, in the dark, doesn’t satisfy the addicts.”

“No, I haven’t noticed that.” In reality, Jamil knew that from the nights at the Fronts. “I didn’t pay attention to that.”

“It doesn’t satisfy the addicts.” He smiled like a little kid who was joking around. “The greatest strength of man is the ability to adapt. It is also his greatest weakness.” He stroked his face. “Some nights...not always...I will wake you up. I apologize in advance for that. I scream some nights. Don’t worry. I’m not in pain. I have dreams that my eyesight has recovered. I am screaming with happiness.”He smiled. “In the past I had these dreams more frequently, now, not so often. I asked Ismail how I was screaming. He said it was as if I got hit in the stomach. I wonder why? At first, I didn’t realize that it was just a dream and got out of bed, knocked some things down, then lit a match.” He listened to the rain. “Please go and check on the Lieutenant, will you? Try to calm him.”

Jamil left immediately. Selim was looking out from the window. Jamil didn’t know what to say. It was raining cats and dogs. Downpour after downpour. Grey after grey. It looked like sheer curtains coming down one after another. The trees were difficult to see. They couldn’t even see the iron gates of the mansion. Jamil thought the building would collapse under the rain. Selim calmed down. He was not there. He looked confused like he was taken by the aliens to another planet. He was humming a soldier song. Jamil knew the song;

“Let my blood flow through my shrouds

My red shrouds matching my red flag...”

Selim was humming the same two lines incessantly. Jamil offered him a cigarette He looked at it. It was like he had difficulty figuring out what it was. Then he took it without smiling. He was whispering as if he was telling him something top secret. “In Caucasia you can’t die from the heat. It is impossible. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that the Colonel is lying.” He checked the door. “They are deceiving him because he can’t see.” He put his index finger on his chest; “I have been at Sarikamish. I know. The Koprukoy Battle started at 06/11/1914. It lasted six days. It was a Friday. We were supposed to attend to Friday Prayers. But we had to fight. For a Muslim man, the first duty is to defend ones country. It is better than going to mosque.  The enemy receded. They resisted. The action started on November 14^th. Form Saturday to Wednesday we fought four days and four nights nonstop. It is called the Azapkoy Battle. We defeated them. However, General Hasan Izzet, the Third Army Commander, didn’t realize that we had won the battle. If he realized that, we could have saved Tooran! Deputy Commander in Chief Enver Pasha came to Koprukoy on November 14^th. He inspected the Army. I had two warm wool undershirts, an Officer’s Jacket, and an overcoat on. I was trembling whereas Enver Pasha only had his jacket on. He didn’t feel the cold. He was superman. He didn’t get affected by nature like ordinary people. He said “You are cold, you are hungry, and I have neither extra clothes nor food to give to you. But I can show you how to get them. Whatever you need the enemy has all these. You go and get them. Not only clothes and food, but you will gain the highest honour. It will be a greater victory that Battles of Nigbolu, Chaldiran and Mohacs. He was talking from higher ground. He was calm. I was looking at him from a lower place. I never saw someone more handsome, stronger, and intelligent than him.  You had to believe him there. How can you not? You had to be a traitor not to believe him. The only person who didn’t agree with him was General Hasan Izzet. Enver Pasha got the Command of the Army personally himself. We went to Aras on December 21^st. The Battle of Sarikamish started on 22th.It lasted 25 days. The Deputy Commander in Chief was leading our Army Corps.  That’s why the enemy advanced and circled the 9^thRegiment. However, we continued our advance. They said we couldn’t reach Sarikamish. That’s a lie. The 10^th Army Corps had 33 thousand men. At the end we were left 33 men. It was alright. 33 Turks is enough!”  He stroked his face. He raised his fist.  “Sarikamish was very close. The Commander wanted us to get Sarikamish. He wanted us to recapture Sarikamish without destroying it. If he ordered us to crush the town I would have crushed it with my fist.”

He looked like he had a sudden debilitating pain in his stomach. He put his hands on his stomach. His face showed his pain. “We entered Sarikamish twice. The first time the enemy sent us back. We went in with 70 people and went back with 34. Reserve Officer Kazim Iskilip, myself, and three other Lieutenants were present. We knew we didn’t have enough men left. Someone said, “There is no point in trying again.” Kazim said, “We have to try again. It is the Commander’s Order!” It stopped snowing. It was all icy. The sky filled with stars. It looked like day time. Kazim stood in front of us and stopped us from leaving. We came together to attack one more time. Kazim was walking ahead of us. He said, “Let’s go!” Then we noticed some movement ahead of us. Kazim asked, “Who is there?”

A commander came out of the bush wearing an overcoat. He asked Kazim who he was. Kazim stood to attention and told him his name. The Commander asked him where he was running to. Kazim told him he was running to catch the deserters. The Commander checked his surroundings and saw us. He motioned to us to approach. We went. He said, “I am the commander, I order you to execute him!”We were frozen. We were like lifeless statues in that moment. A man who was with him, told him something that we didn’t hear. He got mad. He cried, “Execute!” Some other guy came from his position and took Kazim away. He smashed him to a tree. He took away his rifle. He aimed the rifle at us. We got scared. We obeyed. We took position in front of Kazim. The Commander in the Overcoat ordered, ‘Fire!’ We executed Kazim.” Selim covered his face with his hands. “Didn’t I think about shooting the guy in the overcoat instead of Kazim? Yes, I thought about that. I couldn’t do it. Turks obey the Commander! Kazim fell on his knees and fell on the snow on his face. We 33 men attacked Sarikamish once again under that Commander wearing the overcoat. Sarikamish answered with fire. All the bullets were coming towards us from all directions like the bullets were coming from the ground. I don’t know how we entered the city, how we came out alive, when we went back. God only knows… I thought about Kazim. I got my rifle and went to find the Deputy Commander in Chief!” He raised his index finger. “They said he fled! That’s a lie. Our leader didn’t flee! He is waiting for us at the opening of the passage of Tooran. I will get permission from the Colonel to go and find him. I will tell him, ‘They killed Kazim for no reason! Kazim only wanted to fight under your Command. ‘I will find the Commander wearing the Great Coat and grab him by the neck!”

It was still raining. The residents of the Army Officer’s Shelter were returning from their outings. They were the most miserable members of the defeated Ottoman Army. Some lost their arms and put the sleeves of the jackets in their pockets. Some lost their legs and were using crutches. Some only had one good eye, they were leading the blind. Some had involuntary movements, some were crying, some were laughing, some were giving orders to attack.

Jamil wondered where he could go. Roumeli was lost a long time ago. Anatolia was unknown. The east of Istanbul after Suadiye Station felt like the world ended there…only darkness. He felt scared for the first time since he put on the military uniform as an 11 year old boy.

The noise level increased in the mansion. Jamil offered another cigarette to Selim. He was surprised. He looked at the packet, and then to Jamil. They didn’t hear that someone was coming upstairs. They heard a proud thick voice:

“Selim…Son, I am all wet! It rained a lot. Jamil turned towards him. Ismail was surprised; “Wait a minute! Who is that? Oh! It is Jamil!  Jehennem! Welcome brother!”

“Oh!  Ismail!”

Jamil saw his classmate Cavalry Major Ismail Uskup. He ran to hug him. Ismail supported his big body on the crutches and opened his arms. Jamil stopped in his tracks when he noticed that he lost his left leg. There was a wooden stick under his knee. “Come on! Don’t be surprised. There is no difference between two legs and one and a half leg. Did you come to see me? How did you know? Did Maksood tell you?”Jamil held him by the shoulders. “My brother, I am sorry. I hadn’t heard that you were injured. I hope you are feeling well. What happened? Where did you get wounded?”

“Never mind! Let me see you! Good! You are fine. Jehennem, you came out of this war all in one peace. Good for you!”

He gave the packets that he was holding to Selim. He said, “Take this Selim. How is Naji? Did he get to the bottom of all his paperwork yet? Did he solve all the mysteries?  How was your day? Good thing you met Captain Jamil! He knows the Commander who ordered Kazim’s death!”

Selim looked at Jamil with interest. His voice was trembling. “Is that true Captain? Do you know him? What is his name?”

Jamil tried not to look at Selim. He looked at Ismail with despair. Ismail pushed his index finger to Salim’s chest. “Tell him Jamil, there is only one commander. The one with and without the great coat was our boy Enver! They are the same. Tell him so he knows!”

 From the Book The Reluctant Warrior

by Kemal Tahir

Translated by Elif Mat